The perfect mistress has long been a study of curiosity, speculation, resentment and even admiration. She has existed for centuries and probably since the dawn of early mankind. Attributes of the mistress are described in poems, songs, novels and even opera. Some of the most famous creative works, have been based on the role of the mistress. In regal circles, she has been known as a courtesan and many kings, princes and other nobles are known to have entertained them. This article looks at relationships from the mistress’s perspective.

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The Perfect Mistress

By Ruth Purple

Mistress – just the word itself imbibes negative impressions. Wives despise them and society looks down on them. Mistresses are associated with the word home wrecker with low morals. But if you really think about it, do they like being a mistress? Is that a choice they voluntarily choose or is it a written destiny? If there is such a thing as being “single-blessedness”- meaning people who are “blessed” or born to be single, is there such thing as “mistress-blessedness”? What kind of woman would chose to be a mistress in the first place? Being a mistress is never easy, so they say.

You cannot demand and you are constantly settling for stolen moments and attention. But since you are the other woman and everybody hates you, you might as well excel in what you do. And you’d better be good in keeping yourself anonymous or you will be forever obtaining the mark of the Scarlet Letter. A perfect mistress is a lady who is an expert in handling her man and knows how to keep him and the relationship hidden – if you can’t do both, then you are just a bimbo who likes to “do” somebody else’s husband. What does it takes to be the perfect other woman, you ask.

The number one rule of being the perfect other woman is – know where you stand. This is the rule of the universe to have order-knowing your place- everything should be in its proper place and order-like the sun and the moon, the land and the sea.

This means the other woman should never show affection in public to avoid scandal- scandal is worst than murder. Jesus was a victim of scandal, see what happened to him. So, if you don’t want to be crucified- save your urges inside the bedroom. The difference between a mistress and a wife is- a mistress never believes every word his lover is saying; another decree in being the perfect other woman- never believe what your man is saying to you.

In general, men are liars. They are driven to say whatever it takes to get what they want. “You understand me more that’s why I love you more than my wife.”- Never let this enter your head. This is usually a defense mechanism of a philandering man to justify his guilt for having a you.

Enjoy every moment when he is showering you with sweet nothings but be on top of it. A mistress should have an ally- and there’s no better perfect ally than his lover’s assistant or secretary. You should know how to have a rapport with his lover’s secretary- for two main reasons- to keep tract of his lover and to cover-up for them.

The other woman always remembers that curiosity kills - especially if you are curious about the wife. It’s tempting to see the person your lover chose to sleep at night even if he “doesn’t lover her”. Curiosity can become very insatiable and before you know it, you are face to face with the wife with a gun pointing in your head.

There are so many orders that a perfect adulteress should do but I will leave you with this one- discreetness. Mistresses should be synonymous with being discreet. A perfect adulteress should never brag or talk about being a mistress, she should never bad mouth or get jealous with the wife, the other woman should never ask for money, she should not travel with her lover- meet him somewhere else instead and most importantly she should never complain.

Mistresses, yes we don’t like the idea of them but they are also people whose only fault is being in love with the right person in the wrong time.

The author of this article Ruth Purple is a Relationship Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Ruth recently decided to go public and share her knowledge and experience through her website http://www.relazine.com. You can sign up for her free newsletter and join her coaching program.

A couple, as man and woman, will share feelings and each other constantly during a relationship. Often times a man can become self centered, distant and uninterested in what you do or how you are. The man who is distant can make a woman feel uneasy about herself, un-needed, unwanted and often times self conscience as you second guess what you are doing all the time.

1) When Your Man Shuts Down

So why is your man shutting down emotionally and pushing you further from the relationship than you are comfortable with? You will notice the difference right away, as he doesn’t hold your hand, as he isn’t calling you often, and even moments where he is not looking at you but past you while you are out on the town. Slowly, for almost no reasons, your man leaves you and becomes your Ex.

The man needs to feel as if he is the center of attention. This doesn’t mean you have to become his love slave, or be at his beck and call, but you have to learn to make the man feel as if he is the center of your universe using your actions and reactions to the relationship.

The main reason men shut women out and become distant could be due to the fear they experience to be committed in a relationship.

Yes, the reason may surprise you but it is a well known fact that men who are afraid of becoming too dependent, too needy will push a woman back and put some distance between the two of you. A man can feel as if he loves you, but at the same time, is afraid of the commitment, afraid of becoming needed and wanted, where you will expect more of the relationship. The man who is afraid of a relationship is going to put some amount of emotional distance in the relationship, and this will be the distance you feel.

Another reason men put distance in the relationship is because they feel overwhelmed by need. What many women are surprised about, and no man is going to admit, is they will become distant in a relationship because they feel too needed, and you or the family is too demanding.

A man must feel a little freedom in his life, where he feels important and able to be himself with out always doing something for you or because of you. While it is hard to change, you can cut the distance in your relationship by helping your man feel a little more freedom and at ease in his life.

The cure is easy for the distance in a relationship such as this; allow his to enjoy his life. As a man enjoys his life, he will find he also needs you there to share in his joys, and accomplishments. The added freedom could be that he loves watching football, or loves being at the baseball field, or that he loves coaching youth teams.

Giving him the time to enjoy his own past times and hobbies is going to give him the freedom in his life that every man needs. He will ultimately feel good about himself, and where he is in life, and in turn will want to share more with you, and be closer to you because of it.

2) Think About the Many Things You Do and Say

Think about the many things you do, say and how you ‘are’ that may lead to your man being distant emotionally. Are you putting too much pressure on the relationship as you say you ‘love him’ all the time, or that you ‘need him’ all the time.

You, as the woman, need to back off on the telling him all the emotions in your life, and focus only on showing him how much you love him. Showing a person, a man, how much you love him is going to be much more valuable in the relationship than actually saying it aloud all the time.

For example, if he is leaving a business trip for a few days, show him you love him by putting something in his suitcase that will remind him of you while he is away. Just a little note, with a heart, and no words, no written message, just the hidden message of your love he will find at a later date. Calling your man and telling him you love him every five hours while he is away is going to put pressure on the relationship he may not need, want, or have the time to tend to while he is away on business.

3) How To Keep The Relationship Alive and Get Him Back?

Keeping the relationship alive is going to be much easier than you might have thought before. As a woman, you are constantly working and tending to the needs of your relationship. To keep the relationship alive you want to show the man how you feel instead of saying it aloud all the time.

Make him coffee in the morning, or make his lunch before he leaves every day, your actions speak louder than words in many cases.

Keep the relationship alive by taking the time to make his favorite meal, or do your hair in the way he loves most. Keep the relationship alive by putting on sexy perfume even when you are sitting around the house. A man needs to FEEL you love him, but without having to hear it all the time.

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