Lots of readers ask about relationship problems, so check this out. One of the enjoyable tasks for this site is keeping an eye open for news, videos, articles, news and other useful information that offers advice which aids visitors to have more lasting relationships. Be sure to look over it all. Don’t forget to include your thoughts so all of us can know your advice:

Relationship Advice for Women

————————–

Use Your Unconscious Mind To Resolve Relationship Problems

Most people in trying to solve a problem concentrate on the problem rather than its solution. This is a mistake as this way of thinking locks you into the problem making you feel helpless and unable to deal with it.

In reality this is far from the case. Your unconscious mind the 90% of the mind that we are not usually aware of has great problem solving capabilities. Once you have the know how you can use these at will.

To gain help from the unconscious mind we must think of the solution not the problem. It happens like this. The smoker who wants to quit thinks “I must stop smoking” but his unconscious mind can’t process a negative so it hears and acts upon the word “smoking”. This causes him to continue smoking and possibly to even smoke more.

How does this relate to dating, Karen thinks, “I wish Keith and I weren’t always arguing” The emphasize is on arguing which is what she is concentrating on making it likely to happen even more. She needs to think of and mentally picture the situation that she actually wants, herself and Keith enjoying each other’s company.

Once Karen does this its likely that over the next few hours and days she will think of ways to make time spent with Keith pleasant and argument free. She can help along this process by writing down as many possible solutions as she can think of to the problem of having arguments with Keith.

The more she can be creative and think out of the box the more likely she is to find a workable solution. It’s important to generate as many ideas as possible for two reasons. 1/ Problems are often solved by using a combination of ideas and techniques rather than just one. 2/ Once Karen has her ideas she will turn them into “action steps” and act on them.

If she comes up with only one or two ideas to turn into action steps she may not act on any of them. If she comes up with fifteen there is a good chance that she will act on five. This way she increases the likelihood of taking action to bring about a solution.

Once Karen has written down her whole list of potential solutions she will examine each one in turn and decide which one solution or combination of solutions is most likely to work best for her. She will then turn her solution into an action step or series of steps.

She will then begin to solve the problem. It’s important to start putting the plan into action now rather than waiting until tomorrow or next week. By taking action Karen puts herself in control of the situation.

Although Karen can’t control Keith’s behaviour she can control her responses to it. By doing so she is able to move herself and Keith forward to achieving the goal of enjoying each other’s company.

Karen will also be prepared to adapt her solution as the situation unfolds. She will show self-reliance and flexibility in the way that she deals with her relationship problem. These qualities will almost certainly be rewarded. Most importantly she will concentrate on the solution not the problem.

Image by Ed Yourdon via Flickr

Relationship Problems – The REAL Solution

By Ivan Kelly

Sue knew she had relationship problems. She was sure that her husband had a mistress and was agonizing about how to deal with it.

Should she confront him? Would it be better to just pack her bags and leave? Maybe she should pack his bags? Perhaps it would be better to ignore her suspicions and hope that her husband will come to his senses before it’s too late?

Samantha’s long-time partner was a great guy - when he was in a good mood.  It’s just that  he couldn’t resist trying to control everything – and then criticizing and blaming her when things didn’t go just the way he wanted.

These are just a few of the relationship problems women face, of course. There are jealous boyfriends; partners whose impatience turns simple conversations into conflicts; husbands who are curt, difficult, angry, lazy, untidy, drunk, gamblers, unstable and those suffering from all kinds of addictions!

Behind it all are women who simply want to be loved, respected and appreciated.

However, the real solution isn’t frothy. It won’t tell you that the answer to your relationship problems is to buy some new lingerie, spend heaps at the beauty parlor and then go away for a romantic weekend.

It deals with deeper issues that lie at the heart of those difficulties and shows you how you can turn your life around.

With the real solution you can see quick improvement but lasting gains may take longer as you discover how your life can become much more than it is today. How long it takes will depend on how much it means to you. It doesn’t take a lot of effort.

It does require that you make a decision and that you choose a better life.

This means the real solution isn’t for every woman. Most will prefer to have a few action tips (smile, avoid argument, encourage communication, be nice to his friends and family,  etc, etc). Then life continues in much the same way as before. Perhaps it IS better for a brief time. Then it’s back to where you started.

The solution will show you the steps you can take to move from feeling unhappy and unfulfilled. It will show you how to gain more control over your life and  from this will flow more joyful experiences.

That raises another problem, of course: if YOU’RE in control of your life; if you are the captain at the wheel, who is responsible for steering the ship away from the rocks into calmer waters?

The REAL solution is knowing HOW to create a more beautiful life – and then doing it!

A number of useful books have been written to show readers HOW they can get past relationship problems and gain more love and harmony. The best of these will describe simple processes, and examples, that readers can easily follow and quickly apply to make a HUGE difference in their lives. There is one that can really help: