by Klearchos Kapoutsis

Dealing with separation, divorce, and remarriage -By Re-marriage.com Matrimonials

Most people going through separation and divorce go through a whole range of intense emotions: sadness, anger, hurt, fear of an uncertain future, loneliness, confusion over the many decisions you must make, and a sense of failure at your lost plans and dreams.

How you choose to handle a separation is very important because of the effect it will have on the rest of your life. If you do not deal with the pain you will be unhappy for a very long time. Let go of your bitterness and anger.

Try to look at the separation as an opportunity to re-examine your abilities, your assets and your dreams, and to make the changes necessary for a new, full and rewarding life.

Things you can do:

>> Talk to someone you trust. Talking and sharing your deepest concerns to a family member or close friend that you trust can give you an outlet for your frustration and anger. You may find that a person who has been through a separation or divorce is the best one to offer support.

>> Keep a familiar routine for yourself and your children. It is especially important for your children: the more their world stays the same, the better they will be able to cope with the changes they will have to make.

>> Keep the lines of communication open with your children. They need to know that they are not losing the love and support of either parent, and that they are not responsible for your separation or divorce. Talk openly to them about your new living arrangements.

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>> Stay healthy. You may find yourself forgetting to eat regularly and staying up late worrying. This could lead to a loss of energy and illness at a time when you most need to be on top of things. Keep yourself in good health by eating regular meals and getting enough sleep. You should also try to get regular exercise.

>> Learn some methods for coping with stress. There are many good books you can read on coping with stress, and you may also find some information on relaxation techniques helpful. Check with your local library and bookstore.

>> Keep in mind the old saying, “One day at a time”. Deal with your separation and the unexpected problems and feelings it creates by asking yourself, “What do I need to do today?”. Try not to worry about things you cannot do anything about until next week or next month. When the time comes, deal with them just like the others – one day at a time.

>> Avoid making major decisions until your life has become more settled. Although some decisions have to be made quickly, such as housing and school arrangements for the children, you can put off many decisions until “the dust has settled”. Give yourself some time before moving to another community, deciding on a career change, going back to school or getting involved with someone new.

>> Allow yourself the time you need to heal. Your family and friends may encourage you to “cheer up” and “get on with life” before you are ready. You must take whatever time you need to heal. Losing a marriage, no matter how difficult it may have been, still causes wounds. Give yourself quiet times alone in which you can think, cry, or simply be by yourself.

>> Get professional help when you need it. You will face many legal and emotional problems along with separation and divorce, and you will probably need professional help. For legal matters, seek the help of a lawyer. If you are experiencing severe emotional stress, your family doctor can help you find a counsellor. You may also find it helpful to talk to a member of the clergy for your religion. Make sure you use these services when you need them; ignore the desire to “tough it out” on your own.

>> Look for support in your community. There may be workshops and self-help groups in your community which can help you in this difficult time.

“A bad marriage dosen’t mean its the end of a life”

Whatever your experience of divorce may be, it is worth remembering that there is life after divorce. And it can be a blessing in disguise for it isn’t often that we get a chance to break clean and start over. We would say “Its all about progression, so don’t get disheartened.”

A marriage is always the beginning of a new life. End your search for a compatible life partner at Re-marriage.com. The No. 1 Remarriage Matrimonial Services Provider. For divorcees, widows, widowers, separated and late marriages.

Love has long been known to uplift and and its lack to destroy. Discover how the healing power of love can be used to benefit all kinds of ailments and wounds, including those which are based deep within your feelings and emotions.
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Love Heals

By Rebbie Straubing

Love’s ointment works on bruised knees as well as broken dreams. Love has the power to heal all conditions of the body and mind. Love’s glow melts its seeming opponents into pure light. Where love is, all is well.

Love is at the center of every miraculous healing. It lifts the spirit of the bereaved. It penetrates the darkest hallway to reveal the next step. There is no loss, pain, or betrayal that love cannot illuminate. There is no sadness that love cannot soothe.

Always Enough

Sometimes it seems that love is the problem. It can appear that love caused the pain. People we love reject us, or they die, or they become so important to us that we encounter endless types of hurt. It seems that love is scarce and can be taken away at the whim of the beloved. This illusion of the scarcity of love comes closer to describing the cause of the pain. It is the sense of lack that hurts, not the love. The lack is an illusion.

There is always enough love. It is behind every great creation. Love is the canvas that holds up the paint. Love is the page that hosts the words. Love is the day you live into. It is every background, hidden behind every story, colored by every circumstance. Underneath every experience there is a field of love upon which that moment was built. There is always enough love. We simply must find it.

Finding Love

Finding love is different from finding your keys or your eyeglasses when they disappear. And yet, we tend to think of it in the same way. We think love is hiding somewhere. We left it with that person or in that old town or in that dear friend. We tend to think love is located in the person we love and when we lose that person we have lost love. Love is very different from that. Love lives in every moment in every particle of existence. Finding love is more like looking through the paint to the canvas, looking through the situation to the essence.

Try This

Here is an exercise for accessing love regardless of conditions. In order to reap the full benefit from this exercise, first take a moment to look around you at the condition of your life. Notice what kind of presence love occupies in your awareness. Take a neutral glance at your entire situation as if through a wide-angle lens. Without judging or defending, free from praise or blame, simply appreciate the contrasting landscape of your incarnation.

Once you have perused your lifescape, close your eyes and gently settle your awareness on your heart center right in the middle of your chest. Allow your breathing to become soft and relaxed. With each breath imagine your heart center infused with the gentle presence of love.

Imagine this love soothing all hurts, filling all spaces of loss, and brightening all gloom. As the light of love becomes more established in you, realize that this love is always there. It is intrinsic to your nature. It is native to your being. You don’t have to put it there or develop it. It is the canvas of your life. Love is what you are made of.

Expand your awareness to include your whole body and an egg-shaped energy field all around you. Let love’s quiet presence ease into your awareness, permeating your entire field. With each gentle breath, allow yourself to become so soft and peaceful that the love that resides within you can shine through your situation and your thoughts, through your pains and your losses. Become so quiet that you can sense the slightest presence of this beautiful love as it glows through your physical body.

You may want to regularly spend some time revealing the love that you are in this type of meditative process. The benefits of this practice may surprise you. Love heals a scraped elbow as well as a broken heart. And it does something more. It attracts more love.

©  Rebbie Straubing All Rights Reserved Rebbie is a workshop leader, Abraham Coach, and writer. Increase your awareness of Divine Love at the Affirmative Contemplation website at http://www.AffirmativeContemplation.com. You can receive Dr. Rebbie Straubing’s Free e-Course, 7 Secrets for Manifesting Your Heart’s Desire, at http://www.yofa.net/7secret.html. Read more articles and find out more about YOFA at Rebbie’s main website http://www.YOFA.net.

Many people experience forms of jealousy throughout their life. It can begin at a young age with siblings and parents, competition at school and after moving its’ way through friends and other important figures finally finds the place where it often does the most damage: romance. Jealousy is a particularly tricky aspect of relationships because it is often said that a small amount can be healthy, while too much is destructive.

To understand why people feel jealous it is important to know what these feelings often stem from. Insecurity and low self-esteem are often culprits and certainly a bad experience or past trauma can be an excellent source. Though often obvious this emotion is capable of coming out in ways that are subtle and difficult to pinpoint at times which can be extremely frustrating for all involved.

Some of the most common outward displays of jealousy may not immediately make others, or the person experiencing these emotions aware that it is in fact the true problem:

* Anger: A secondary emotion and probably the one most commonly linked with jealousy, anger is a nasty side effect of this emotion and can do great damage to a relationship.

* Irritability: This feeling’s cause can be difficult to identify, but can easily be caused by jealousy.

* Irrational Behavior: Often felt and acted upon in situations where a person is feeling jealous but cannot remove themselves from the source or may be seeking a way to strike at the source. This can also manifest as a coping mechanism when one is near the source causing the feelings of jealousy.

* Sadness: Another secondary emotion that when caused by jealousy is usually felt when one feels at a loss for a solution to the original problem. Often accompanies a feeling of defeat or loss for the object of jealousy.

* Unreasonable: If one is having great deal difficulty in identifying their jealousy or getting it under control they may speak or act in ways that are contrary to their normal behavior.

If the person who is experiencing jealous feelings is capable of escaping those feelings when not in the presence of anything that may remind them some relief may be experienced. Understanding that many things can be linked to those feelings of jealousy is also very important as any reminder can cause a great deal of frustration:

* People: The most obvious place to begin looking is when certain uncomfortable feelings arise when in the presence of a particular person, or anything that reminds you of that person. If the feelings of jealousy are strong enough, even introducing that person’s name into the conversation can cause them to feel uneasy.

* Places: Negative emotions that arise when near, or in a specific place that remind you of something, or someone that you are jealous of can be overwhelming. If the place in question is one where something took place that caused you to feel unhappy these feeling may arise, even when you love places that have been tainted your adoration may not be able to overcome your negative feelings.

* Objects: An object that is symbolic of something that hurt you may cause you to feel jealous and unhappy because it reminds you of something that causes you pain. If the memory attached to the object is particularly strong the association can last for years.

* Music: Because music invokes such powerful emotions from the majority of the population it can be a painful reminder of jealous feelings. Any piece of music that one may associate with someone or something that causes them to feel jealousy may be very difficult to listen to.

* Images: From paintings to films the images that remind one of their jealous feelings can cause many of the secondary emotions to rise up such as anger or sadness.

It is important to identify the original event(s) that may have led to a later feeling of jealousy when reminded of them. Pinpointing the specific reasons for these emotions may help one work through such emotions and eliminate any need to feel jealousy, though this may take some time and possible the aid of a professional therapist if the emotions are too strong. Beginning with some basic questions about how you feel about your jealousy may be an excellent place to start; some of the following questions may help you to explore the causes of your feelings:

* When did you first feel jealous and of who/what?

* What did this feeling make you think of? Anything in your past?

* Are there other people/objects/places that seem to cause the same kinds of feelings?

* Why do you think that you are experiencing these feelings?

* Who or what do you feel angry with?

* When you feel this jealousy, how do you want to act on it?

* Do you feel that your reactions are unreasonable when you’re calm again?

* Do you feel out of control when you become jealous?

* Have you stopped normal behavior, going places you would normally or doing things that you love to do in order to avoid these feelings?

Conquering jealousy can be very difficult depending upon the source and intensity of the feeling. Be assured that though a little jealousy can be endearing, too much is often a great way to destroy a relationship. In many cases the real problem with jealousy in relationships has a lot to do with trust; if a person is unable to trust their partner they may find that they are frequently suspicious of their partner’s actions.

Only you and the person you love can draw conclusions about what level of jealousy is acceptable and what may be hurting your relationship, or either of you personally. Remember that treating your partner as though they aren’t deserving of your trust, when they have taken no action to cause it, will often lead to a breakup.

One excellent rule to follow if one is feeling particularly jealous in a romantic relationship is to keep in mind that without trust between you and your partner your relationship has a good chance of ending, so either find a way to trust or figure out why it is that you are unable to.

In the end the green eyed monster often gets the best of most people from time to time; try to minimize the frustration caused by jealousy and you will be likely to enjoy a far greater relationship with any friend, relative or lover in your life.

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Article Source: ArticleSpan

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Anger problems are the cause of a lot of misery in intimate relationships. The increasing number of anger management classes available is one way society has attempted to help angry men fix their problems.

One of the major problems for angry men is the damage that is done to their relationships with their partners. Often they feel riddled with guilt over things they have done to the people they love the most.

Many of these relationships are filled with drama, crisis and conflict. Here are the common issues that men with anger problems face in their relationships with women.

1. Lack of intimacy. If your relationship is full of noisy conflict and then periods of angry silence, chances are you are not having a happy intimate life with your partner.

To feel intimate with someone you have to be able to trust them. To be trustworthy you need to be predictable. Angry men are not very predictable. Women will find it difficult to relax and be intimate with you because they do not know if you will suddenly change and become angry or start criticizing them.

2. Controlling behavior. Often angry men will want to decide what a woman can and can’t do, who she can see and where she can go. This is abusive behavior. Being controlling will cause a lot of problems in relationships.

Being angry most of the time make some men feel a need to try and control everything that goes on around them. They mistakenly believe that by trying to control others they will not lose control themselves. This is one of the key thought distortions that anger management classes can help men to change.

3. Blaming and criticism. Angry men lash out at others in an attempt to avoid facing their real feelings and taking responsibility for their lives. Often this is quite unconscious. They are not aware of why they use have angry outbursts or how to stop them.

Often they do not have the ability to manage feelings of grief, sadness or anxiety. Being angry is more acceptable for men in our society than being sad or anxious. This is a subtle pressure of men to manage their emotions with action instead of talking them over or expressing them truthfully.

This type of anger problem will affect your relationships with women, particularly if you swear and become aggressive with your partner when angry. Blaming and criticizing your partner will lead to a lack of intimacy and even more conflict in the long run. Living with a critical partner causes women to feel unhappy in a relationship. Criticizing a woman will not change her behavior; it will only cause more ill feelings between you.

Anger management classes can be very effective in helping men recognize these patterns and begin to change them. The internet has made it possible to take online anger management classes in the privacy of your own home. Learning effective methods to manage you anger problem can improve your relationships with women and reduce conflict.

Kate Hardy is a health professional who enjoys working with angry adults and teens. Online Anger Management Classes. FREE anger Management articles

The downs in every relationship roll up no matter how you wish to be the other way around. It hurts especially if that down turns up to its worst end. And what hurts more is the idea that among the two of you, you were the one who got dumped. It definitely sucks, isn’t it? Painful, agonizing or sorrowful-describe your relationship break up whichever you like, but the thing is you have to accept it even though how hard it is. However, the big question is, how can you heal your broken heart? How can you deal with the agony of relationship break up?

In dealing with relationship break up, the first thing you have to do is to acknowledge your initial set of reactions such as anger, guilt or sadness. You have to understand that after the break up, it is alright to have these feelings toward your partner, to yourself or to the situation itself. You can’t pretend to be happy when you are actually not because in the world of psychology, these usual feelings are some kind of defense mechanisms that enable you to cope up with the situation. Don’t fake your feelings and keep in mind that they are part of the entirety of the healing process. Just allow yourself to undergo these emotions.

Second, although it is okay to acknowledge these feelings, you must have to know that these are merely initial reactions, which means you must not keep these feelings long enough. You must help yourself to get over the depression as early as possible. How? Instead of pondering your relationship break up over and over again, why not try to explore the world and seek for some source of entertainment. You can call your friends and hang-out with them. You can play sports with your family or watch funny movies with them. Nevertheless, forbid yourself to watch love movies or listen to romantic love songs because these can only give you angst. Just try to look for some good ways to divert your thoughts and feelings. I know it is hard from the start, but gradually you can overcome your focus out form those unhealthy emotions.

Third, give yourself a break. Do not force yourself to triumph over your relationship break up by just jumping to another poor relationship or by exploiting other men simply because you want to show the world how fast you have moved on. Know your priorities and do not just limit yourself in hunting for another relationship that you think might help you forget the pain. You can move on by aspiring yourself with new set of goals that will help you look forward. Focus on your family or career life then you will see that things will come as smoothly as they are.

Having a relationship break up is really a stressful situation. But going through these hard times is up to you how to deal with it. If you look it in a wrong way, then probably your life would be a mess, while when you look at it as a challenge then surely you’ll surpass everything.

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Easily the best way to gain more Love and Harmony in your relationships is to know this life-changing material.

Read the information on this page before it’s too late:

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