Good romantic relationships are held together by each partner doing simple and caring tasks to show their appreciation for one another. Develop a good romanticrelationship with tips from an author of a book on dating in this free video on interpersonal relationships. Expert: Dr. Paul Vehorn Contact: www.askdoctorpaul.com Bio: Dr. Paul Vehorn has a Ph.D and did graduate work in behavior psychology. Vehorn wrote “Dynamic Dating” and “Boomer Girls, a Woman’s Guide to Men & Dating.” Filmmaker: Christopher Rokosz

Secret Relationship Advice for Women

In our society we have become obsessed with love. Our films, our books, our plays and our music are full of stories about love – the joy of finding it and the heartache of losing it. We treat it as a commodity, a transient emotion that comes and goes. We are deliriously happy when we find it but suffer terribly when we lose it again.

A vast majority of romantic relationships start well, with two people falling in love, but then something begins to go wrong. The feelings of love begin to fade and we start seeing our partner’s failings.

They begin to irritate us and act in ways that seem unloving. We then either move into compromise and settle for a relationship with less love and connection or we end the relationship and try to find someone better. Forming a successful romantic relationship is a real challenge, but it ends up this way because of a basic misunderstanding about love.

All our romantic problems stem from a destructive self-belief – that we are personally lacking in love. Deep down we feel empty and incomplete. It feels as if there is something missing in our lives. These feelings of scarcity then create a powerful need for love. That is why we go out into the world to find a romantic partner who will take away the emptiness and make us feel whole again.

Of course our search for somebody to love us is often successful and the sensations of falling in love convince us that our strategy was right. Unfortunately, the ease with which we fall in love can become the biggest trap we face in life, because it seems to confirm that love lies outside us.

The sad truth is that most of us fall in love for the wrong reason. We bring a partner into our lives to fulfill our need for love, and it is this outward focus that creates all our problems. It creates a dependence on our partners – we rely on their presence in our lives, to make us happy. This is a recipe for disaster, as I discovered when my marriage failed. When my wife suddenly left me, all my needs and insecurities were laid bare and it was not a pretty sight. How many of us fall in need rather than fall in love?

I am not saying needs are wrong – to be human is to have all sorts of needs, but the need for love is one of the most destructive. As long as we search outwards for love we will fail to see that we have it within. Our strong need for love usually comes from early experiences in our lives where we felt our needs were not met.

Not only do we resent the people who failed to give us what we wanted (normally or parents), we also feel guilt for having failed in the relationship that would have provided those needs. We get really guilty for having given up on our store of self-love and taken on the belief that we are lacking in love. At the spiritual level we feel guilty for having turned away from our divine essence – that of 100% love and connection.

The problem with being needy in a relationship is that it tries to take from our partner. It assumes that they have the thing we need to make us happy. They may feel scarcity themselves so having to continually meet our needs drives up the feeling that they are losing something. We might end up fighting for who is going to meet the needs of the other person – this is the power struggle stage of relationships.

When we feel our needs have not been met we might get angry, disappointed or moody as a way of punishing the other person. If this carries on we might be hit by depression because we just cannot get rid of the emptiness and deadness that we feel inside. Neediness eventually destroys a relationship or takes away all its joy.

So how do we remove the neediness from a relationship? Well the first thing to do is recognize the times when it is present in us and in our partner. Sometimes we may know we are being needy but at others we can be blind to it. If there is any bad feeling in a relationship, you can be sure that unmet needs are the cause. Try to identify what these needs are. What is not being met for you in the relationship – it will be exactly the same for your partner.

Here is the quick fix: Try to give the need that you feel is missing and it will be returned by your partner. Then start to understand your own needs in a situation. When was the first time in your life when they were not met? What was happening? Who was present?

Try to forgive the people involved and realize that you could have given that missing need if you had been more mature and experienced. Visualize the situation now and give the need to all the people present. Breathe love back into the situation. As you heal your need you will find that your self-esteem grows.

You can do this exercise for all your emotional needs. Typically they lie in layers in the mind so we have to repeat the process for all the layers. Soon you will become an expert at spotting needs and healing them. Every single human problem can be traced back to a feeling of unmet needs and at the deepest level it is a belief that there is a lack of love.

Emotional maturity and intelligence is really the ability to become aware of our needs and then not to play them out on the people around us. If we can’t do this our needs drive the things that we want away and paradoxically as we heal the needs within, the very things that we desire begin to appear in our lives!

Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationship counsellor and a Psychology of Vision Trainer (an organisation that specialises in helping people have happier and more fulfilled relationships. You can find lots more advice and tips about love, romance and relationships on www.iloveyouloveme.com

Maybe you are too jealous but, as you might have realized, it does not come by choice. It is a strong emotion which works you up to regrettable levels.

Maybe you are the kind of a person who does very stupid things in the heat of the moment and you are left embarrassed. You might spot your lover with a prospective boss, start hurling abuse and maybe even get physical.

This is a dangerous level which might drive your lover away from you unless it is kept in check. To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships, you must first of all discover the root of the disturbing emotion. Did she cheat on you once? Does the other person shower him with overflowing favors? It will help if you understand the root of your insecurity.

To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships, learn how to handle competition. Attractive people are approached for dating all the time. Accept what you cannot change and walk around it. To remain top of the list you must be able to beat others who might be in competition for her/his love. Jealousy will only eat you up and leave you feeling bad, sad and unloved. Do not walk in the shadow of ignorance.

If you do not reveal your jealousy, you will learn so much about your lover. He/she will voluntarily tell you about who is chasing after him or her but just with a light touch. Your reaction might determine what should be communicated to you in the future. If you are abreast of his/her admirers you are way ahead because you have a chance to beat them before they start their game. To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships encourage openness in a relationship.

To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships, talk about it. When your lover knows that it  makes you uneasy when you are in the company of some people, he/she is a position to do a lot to spare you the agony. She might start flirting with you when company is around and maybe a public show of affection will reduce your insecurity and thus help you overcome jealousy.

She is best placed to assure you of her love and to take it a step further by announcing it to the whole world. Do not die with your feelings. Confess what your love for her is driving at. Chances are it will do you more good than harm. Off course when you declare your feelings it will be a sure sign of love and affection towards her.

I encourage communication because some things we do as human beings are intentional. Your lover might be subjecting you to so much heartache in a mission to prove something. These are games lovers play. Some believe that a jealous lover is a true lover. Due to the rising levels of betrayal and malice in the dating scene, people are keen to look for real love. She might be praising  another just to watch your reaction. If you respond positively, the subjection stops and life continues.

If you consider disclosing jealousy a weakness and persevere with it you may be subjected to more. Do not overcome jealousy in romantic relationships on your own. Involve your lover and you might even discover it was not your weakness after all.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Overcome Jealousy In Romantic Relationships Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Overcome Jealousy In Romantic Relationships

Easily the best way to gain more Love and Harmony in your relationships is to know this life-changing material.

Read the information on this page before it’s too late:

Gain More Love and Harmony – Now!

There are basically three types of relationships:

1. Emotional

2. Sexual

3. Financial

That’s it. There are relationships for emotional gratification, sexual gratification, and financial gratification. If you are in a relationship with a person, it will be for at least one of these three reasons. The problems come when the two parties have different relationship agendas. A woman may be dating a man because he is paying her bills, and he may be dating her strictly for the sex. Or a woman might be dating a guy whom she’s emotionally attached to, while he is dating her because she gives him a couple of dollars every now and then.

In the ideal relationship the two people dating are on the same page emotionally, sexually, and financially. If there is a deficiency in any one of these areas, and the deficiency has not been rectified, the relationship will be temporary.

So ladies, when you start dating a man, you must first be real (with yourself especially) about what your true agenda is. If you are dating a man strictly because of his financial contributions, acknowledge that to yourself. Don’t try to justify your agenda by getting into a superficial relationship with the person and deceiving yourself into believing that you can learn to like other qualities about the person. You must also figure out what the other person’s true agenda is. Don’t leave it up to them to tell you.

In any game, you have to at least play good defense until you are absolutely sure that the other person is willing to be on the same team as you. When you first meet a person, you can’t tell if they are with you or against you. And if someone has plans to get over on you, or to get what they can from you without reciprocating, they damn sure aren’t going to tell you this up front.

Over 90 percent of all communication is nonverbal. So it’s up to you to look and listen very closely to a person’s nonverbal language (and not your own hopes and expectations) so you can figure out where they are coming from.

Tariq Nasheed is a best selling author who has written three successful books: The Art Of Mackin, which has sold over 250,000 copies, his follow up book Play Or Be Played (Simon & Schuster) was catered towards women trying to learn “the game,” and in 2005, he released another book for men called The Mack Within (Penguin). Nasheed is also the host of the critically acclaimed Mack Lessons Radio Show http://www.macklessons.com Tariq has recently released his new book The Art Of Gold Digging (http://www.theartofgolddigging.com)

Easily the best way to gain more Love and Harmony in your relationships is to know this life-changing material.

Read the information on this page before it’s too late:

Gain More Love and Harmony – Now!

We continue our series on how to build interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone. Commitment and love are important to all of us; they are worth fighting for; they are worth working for. You also should know that in spite of many promises there is no secret for success, no checklist of things to do, and just as importantly no checklist of things not to do. But we do have suggestions, now continuing with the letter D. The focus is on dance, dependable, determined, and debonair.

D is for dance. You may draw the conclusion that we are talking about dating and intimate relationships. Of course dancing is a great way to get the object of your affection into your arms early in the game. Dancing can also be a fine way to keep the home fires burning, if you know what I mean. But dancing is also important in other relationships. Here we are not talking about dancing with a friend’s spouse or a co-worker at the office Christmas party. If you dance under those circumstances make sure to stay away from his or her arms. Keep a clear distance between you and make it short. To build work and other non-intimate, non-romantic relationships, you really have to dance the dance. Otherwise you may have to face the music.

D is for dependable. It is so important that people know they can count on you. Just think what it means to a harassed administrator to know that he or she need not check up on you continuously. You got the assignment, you verified some of the stickier issues, and now the ball is in your court. You don’t have to be reminded what to do, and you deliver status reports without being told or even asked. You are dependable. Guess who should be in line for a promotion? Dependability is just as important in personal relationships, whether it be doing the dishes, driving the kids to day camp, or whatever.

D is for determined. Make your decision and go out there and do what you have to do. Don’t dally and don’t waver. People will know that you can and that you will make it happen. And when your yes means yes, they will more readily accept your occasional no.

D is for debonair. There is nothing wrong with dressing well. Don’t be a dandy, and don’t overdo it. When my wife dressed appropriately for her job as a teacher’s aide, in the director’s eyes she did not rate consideration as a teacher. Then she started dressing fancier. She was hired just as soon as the first teaching job became available. The extra cleaning bills were definitely worth it. Dress the part, the part that you want.

Levi Reiss teaches computer classes in an Ontario French-language community college. He has written ten computer and Internet books and now builds web sites. Visit his new site celebrating all kinds of love and relationships at http://www.loveamourlove.com . Here you will find a great collection of English and French love quotes (with translations) and a wide range of articles on building and repairing love, family, and other relationships.

Article Source: ArticleSpan

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