A person’s ability to ask difficult and sometimes uncomfortable questions of oneself and the other person is a small price to pay if it helps both people avoid an unhealthy or poorly matched relationship. The phrase “pay now or pay later” is very applicable to the dating and decision making process. It’s vital to know if the two of you are compatible for the long term. Great questions can help you to get the answers you’re looking for.

Is the attraction mutual? It is believed by both genders that certain women and men are so desirable, “he’s a catch – she’s a babe” that the issue of mutual attraction is largely ignored.

Here’s an example. Let’s assume that Brittany is hotly pursued by Tony. He is told by many friends that “he would be lucky to be with a girl like her.” Tony wins her over as a result of his pursuit. They date and marry. Now Brittany was impressed by the attention she received from Tony, she felt special, even though she found that there were many things about Tony she didn’t relate to or even like.

As a result of the compliments and kindness she was receiving from him, she ignored many of her thoughts and feelings regarding their relationship. She was also concerned about the possibility of no other man wanting her like he did and thus leaving her alone and lonely.

A number of years into their relationship, Tony realizes that Brittany isn’t that attracted to him and the affection they used to share is absent. Their relationship is in trouble and he’s feeling frustrated and angry. Is the attraction mutual?

Is the attraction mutual over time? Whether we like it or not, it takes time to really get to know each other, to really find out how compatible two people are. It’s well known that most of the activities we engage in each day are governed by our subconscious mind…85 to 90%.

These behaviours are habitual and have usually been a part of our lives for years and years. The remaining 10 to 15% of our activities are carried out by our conscious mind. We make conscious choices about what will eat for dinner, how to respond to a complaining customer, or what to wear to work.

Early in the dating process we are more conscious or conscientious about our clothes, manners, attitude, etc. We usually want to make a good impression. It’s common for members of the relationship to relax on their efforts to conciously try and impress their partner the longer they are together. This is when a person’s conditioned habits and beliefs can be more easily seen by the other party.

This is why people who date and commit too quickly find themselves years later looking at their mate and wondering “who are you?” “You’re not the person I fell in love with!?!?” Correct. The person you fell in love life was consciously behaving in a certain manner. The person you’re now with is the same, except they’re living from their habits, their habitual behaviour, which is what the subconscious mind stores and references for playback.

A great question to ask when dating is…“in order to make the most intelligent decision possible, are you willing to take the necessary time to date me so we can both be sure of our decision?”

The best relationships, the healthy ones, are based on high levels of mutual trust and respect. Trust and respect are earned, not simply given out freely. When we consider deep human relationships of any sort, we are talking about people who have walked together through many different experiences and learned and grown from those experiences.

If a deep, lasting relationship is what you want, then it’s vital to put the relationship to the test while dating. Combined with the pleasurable and fun aspects of marriage, there are the mundane and uninspiring activities. Can you talk about somewhat difficult topics during dating, or is it all just about fun, fun, fun?

The likelihood of you enjoying a good solid marriage will be in no small part determined by your ability to ask important questions during the dating process.

Is the attraction mutual? In order to really get to know the other person and their habitual behaviour, are the two of you willing to date for a year before making a long term commitment to marriage?

Who we are is defined by our habits. It’s not what I do once in a while that is nearly as telling as what I do daily, weekly or monthly. Is the attraction mutual overtime? Do you like their habits? Do you want to marry the kind of habits they’ve got?

Chris Keenan is the founder of Relationship Sharing. They help people share and learn about relationships in small groups via telephone conferencing. If you would like to try their service for free or view the hundreds of free relationship articles they have, go to http://www.relationshipsharing.com for more information. “Why be all alone when you don’t have to?”

If you think your boyfriend is drifting away from you, the good news is you can learn how to make him fall back in love with you. By learning how to make my boyfriend love me again, you can keep your relationship together, even if it looks hopeless. Keeping the relationship together is not hopeless even if feelings have changed because at one point he loved you very much, all you have to do is show him how he used to feel.

One thing that you need to keep in mind is that no matter what type of relationship it is things change over time. This means that even if your boyfriend isn’t fawning all over you like he used to do that does not mean he no longer loves you. Before you spend time learning how to make my boyfriend love me again, you need to determine if your relationship is really in trouble.

One of the first signs that your relationship is in trouble is that your boyfriend rarely kisses you anymore. This is different from the kissing not being the same as it was in the beginning because that just means the relationship has changed, so if he is still kissing you all of the time there is no need to be worried. If there is little to no kissing, something is going on, he is emotionally detaching from you, and you need to take action.

The second sign to look for, is your boyfriend going out with his friends more than he normally does. It is always good for a guy to go out and do things with his buddies and as he gets more secure in his relationship with you, he will start spending a bit more time with his friends than he used to. Where you want to be considered is if he is coming up with excuses to avoid spending time with you, meaning he is going out just about every night with his friends and not getting home until the late hours of the morning. This type of behavior is a big sign that he wants his freedom back.

The third sign that something is wrong is that he is picking fights with you about the silliest things, such as who took out the garbage or something else just as trivial. Starting fights over mundane things usually means that there are deeper problems and resentments. Men have a harder time talking about these so they act out instead.

How you deal with the situation in the early stages is very important if you’re asking yourself  “how to make my boyfriend love me again?” To really find out how to proceed please come to our website and check out a superb resource that is dedicated to helping people with broken relationships just like you.

You can get immediate access to the help and advice you need at: http://www.how-to-get-back-an-ex.info

Article Source: ArticleSpan

Easily the best way to gain more Love and Harmony in your relationships is to know this life-changing material.

Read the information on this page before it’s too late:

Gain More Love and Harmony – Now!

You have the occasional argument. Sometimes you feel frustrated, and you have that uneasy sense that everything is not as it should be. Is your relationship in trouble? The answer may not be obvious. Take this quiz to measure the overall state of your relationship and highlight the trouble spots.
1. When you have an argument, is it about a specific issue, or is it about your partner’s character? A specific issue would be, “You forgot to take out the garbage last night,” while “you never remember anything,” is a generalized character assassination.
2. Do you have more conflict or less conflict when the two of you get time alone together? Do a “date night” or a few days away renew your relationship, or create more stress?
3. Is there physical violence in your relationship? Have you come close to physical violence? Are there threats of physical violence?
4. How often does the thought that you would rather be with someone else pass through your mind?
5. Take one minute to write a list of what you like and what you dislike about your partner. How many “likes” and how many “dislikes” are on your list?
6. Do you seriously question your partner’s faithfulness?
7. Do you have arguments about sex?
8. In times of emergency or grief – such as when a relative becomes ill or dies, do you and your partner pull together?
9. If you could turn the clock back to the day you first met your partner, would you choose a different direction for your life?
10. If you won the lottery, would you be overjoyed to share the blessing with your partner, or would you wish it were all yours?
Physical violence or threats are the biggest danger signs for your relationship and for your personal safety. If they are present, get professional help TODAY.
The following are all danger signs for your relationship. If several are present, your relationship is in real trouble:

• character assassination
• fantasizing often about being with someone else
• not having ready access to a list of your partner’s great qualities
• doubts of faithfulness
• serious sexual incompatibility
• lack of mutual support in times of crisis
• a feeling of being stuck or obligated by the relationship

Question #2 offers hope that your relationship may be much sounder than it appears. Conflict in your relationship may be primarily a reflection of the stress in your individual lives.

Often, partners redirect frustration and anger about unrelated events toward each other. For example, your boss yelled at you, and you yell at your partner. This unconscious redirection is a behavior that can be overcome through conscious attention, and is not a reflection on the overall quality of your relationship. If you and your partner are loving and supportive toward each other in relatively stress-free situations, you likely have a basis for working through your other issues.

Sign-Up for Jonathan’s Daily Inspiration – Daily Quote email, and read his article: 7 Secrets for a Happy Life.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie is an author of self-awareness books and free inspirational email publications. He has been dubbed “The Philosopher of Happiness” by those closest to him, in recognition of his on-going commitment to seeing Joy in all of life.

** Today is your day to dance lightly with life. It really is. – Jonathan Lockwood Huie **

Easily the best way to gain more Love and Harmony in your relationships is to know this life-changing material.

Read the information on this page before it’s too late:

Gain More Love and Harmony – Now!