Common Relationship Problems – How to Understand Them in a Way That Leads to a Solution for Everyone

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When you think about common relationship problems, it’s a matter of being able to decide where to begin as there are so many relationship problems.

Perhaps for a start, it might be helpful to compile a list, and then expand on a number of these. This will be a random list with no level of importance attached to the positioning, and it is not exhaustive.

*Compatibility,

*Equality,

*Communication,

*Sexual Orientation,

*Trust,

*Loyalty,

*Sexual Problems,

*Intimacy,

*Connection,

*Abuse,

*Ending Relationships,

*Jealousy.

At the same time as I list these common relationship problems, I’m also aware there are a number of ways couples describe the way they see their relationship problems.

I was watching a program on The Oprah Winfrey Show just after I compiled my list above. I watch the show from time to time just to see if there is anything on the program that might be relevant to what I am doing.

On this program, as it happens, couples were asked to describe their relationships using just five words. The following words or expressions were the most commonly used to describe their relationship problems.

*Passionless,

*Lonely,

*Sucks,

*Boring,

*Empty,

*On Edge,

*Lifeless,

*Tiring,

*In a Rut,

*Indifferent,

*Stressed,

*Unfulfilled,

*Fake.

There are various ways this list of common relationship problems would be explained in terms of understanding them and offering solutions.

The expert on Oprah that day, had an explanation that I had difficulty understanding as a way of improving the situations for those couples.

Oprah was all in favor of what he was having to say, but I did wonder how much the people themselves understood the explanation, and how they would apply it in their lives.

If I look at the first list of common relationship problems that I wrote, and then look at the second list, there is one in my list that stands out to me that all those in the second list could be associated with. The word I am referring to is: Connection. Of course, several others in the first list tie in with this as well, as I will explain.

Just to clarify exactly what is meant by connection, my dictionary describes connect as meaning: ‘bring together or into contact so that a real link is established.’

It strikes me all those words in the second list, describe how there is no real link established, leaving no room at all for any of the characteristics of healthy relationships.

The way I see this fitting in with the first list of common relationship problems, is that in order for two people to connect in a relationship, the first requirement is there has to be equality between the couple.

This means each person has the same status, each is on the same level. Let’s not kid ourselves, as much as we might like to think inequality is a dead issue, it is alive and well.

In all the couples I have seen as a counselor, one of the most common relationship problems I have seen is what I identified as inequality between them. It created an imbalance where partners were on different levels. I have seen it so often I came to refer to it as ‘the same old story’.

Where there is inequality, or people don’t have the same status and are not on the same level, there is an ongoing inevitable tension between couples.

This invariably means there are relationship issues associated with relationship communication problems, trust in relationships, sexual relationship problems, abusive relationship issues of all types, and a lack of real intimacy.

All these common relationship problems are an outcome of inequality in my view, and it doesn’t need to be like this. The solution is really very simple. All you have to do for a start is to put your ego aside and look into it. You’ll be so glad you did as there is much to gain for everyone, and nothing to lose.

Leo Ryan is a counselor with over twenty years experience in the field dealing primarily with relationships.  He has given many talks, seminars and workshops on the subject, as well as being interviewed by all sectors of the media about his work.  He is passionate about people having great relationships, and his website is dedicated to that purpose.  He is the author of the ebook “How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship”, now available for download at:  http://www.relationship-tips-for-you.com

Why Worrying Just Doesn’t Help

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Why Worrying Just Doesn’t Help

By Ivan Kelly

If it wasn’t so stressful and energy-draining, worrying about relationship problems might be considered a national past-time since so many people seem to be so willing to spend so much time doing it!

Worrying about relationships and other aspects of your life is NOT the most fruitful approach.

As anxiety increases (our body is trying to protect us in the face of a perceived threat) we often become LESS able to cope.

When faced with MILD anxiety, the fear of not doing well may cause us to be more focused on the steps we know are needed.

For instance, worrying about disapproval or rejection or the likelihood of failure if studies are not attended to; a diet is not followed; training for a sporting event is not completed; a job interview is badly handled, or debts are not paid, may stir us to action.

However, it can happen that we DON’T KNOW what steps to take to improve things and anxiety builds up, causing a sort of paralysis.

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Then the outcome is likely to be downhill all the way.

We feel a growing sense of alarm, stress and anxiety, which can also affect our health and make us vulnerable to fatigue and illness.

Even if we know what needs to be done, needless to say we don’t perform very well in this condition. We respond coolly to others, or nag and complain…

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Our partners get the sharp end of our tongue; we freeze up in exams and don’t do our best; job interviews are handled badly and more, many more situations in our daily lives bring results well below what we know we can do.

A famous golfer (you’ll understand if I don’t name him) once went into the last stage of a Masters Tournament with a six stroke lead. He lost by 5 strokes!

Many others have had similar experiences – crashing when it counted most!

However, when we expect a GOOD outcome our bodies respond very differently – we are relaxed, enthused, energized, and confident.

And the results we get reflect those good feelings.

When we expect to receive a proposal of marriage, get a promotion at work, inherit a fortune from a distant relative, meet the partner of our dreams, or make a million bucks, etc – that’s exhilarating. We’re enthusiastic about our lives, the sun shines brighter and the world appears to be a much happier place.

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Expecting success helps us to be more successful. Not only are we calmer, more at ease, we become more alert to the opportunities that are opening up and more of them appear to be possible.

The problem is how can we expect success when our everyday lives tell us that something awful is far more likely? That our relationships are far less satisfying than we want? That our future looks even worse than the present?

There IS a way we can get past our worries and enjoy life more. We CAN enjoy far better relationships and be happier. And it isn’t difficult.

A number of useful books have been written to show readers HOW they can get past their relationship problems and gain more love and harmony. The best of these will describe simple processes, and examples, that readers can easily follow and quickly apply to make a HUGE difference in their lives. Check this out:


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How To Handle Blame and Criticism

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How To Handle Blame and Criticism

By Ivan Kelly

Blame and criticism are among the most damaging relationship problems that couples experience. Knowing how to handle it is one of the most important social skills that we can possess as we learn how to effectively cope with the negative attitudes and barbed comments of others.

We have to deal with all sorts of people, and there are many – including boyfriends and husbands – who’ve not yet learned that we respond better to charm and appreciation than to put downs and attempts to make us feel guilty.

Because of this, it is important that any relationship advice which aims to help should include techniques for dealing with these attacks quickly and effectively without allowing the situation to get out of hand.

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Verbal strategies for coping with criticism and blame normally show how to deflect unwanted comments without causing further antagonism. With practice, it’s possible to become very adept at side-stepping hurtful comments from others and re-directing the conversation in the direction that you prefer.

A related skill is in learning what NOT to do. When we feel under attack, it is natural to become defensive. This can easily create a pattern of attack and retaliation, as can be seen even at international level when one country attacks another, which responds in kind, inducing further attacks. The hostilities then go back and forth.

The same effect can also be seen with family feuds. Folklore is full of tales about harm suffered by one party being passed down the generations as different family members are hurt, injured or killed and others carry out reprisals.

Valuable as these lessons are, they are short-term tactics to deal with immediate problems. Consider:

1. Also important is a long-term strategy as this will reduce the number of unhappy incidents which require these coping skills.

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2. Applying a long-term strategy which is simple to use and has a broad impact on your life also means you’ll have to deal with blame and criticism less often and you’ll be able to cope more easily if you do.

3. Following a long-term strategy that is easy to apply in your daily life can also make a creative, positive impact. You aren’t simply responding to other people’s negativity but are actively building positive experiences.

A REAL solution to the pitfalls, problems and conflicts you presently face involves a strategy which shows you how to build a life that is a lot more likely to attract more love, respect and appreciation with fewer relationship hassles.

If you are ready to experience more love and harmony in your life, go for a long-term solution.

A number of useful books have been written to show readers HOW they can get past relationship problems and gain more love and harmony. The best of these will describe simple processes, and examples, that readers can easily follow and quickly apply to make a HUGE difference in their lives. Check this out:


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Relationship Problems – How Neediness Damages Relationships

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In our society we have become obsessed with love. Our films, our books, our plays and our music are full of stories about love – the joy of finding it and the heartache of losing it. We treat it as a commodity, a transient emotion that comes and goes. We are deliriously happy when we find it but suffer terribly when we lose it again.

A vast majority of romantic relationships start well, with two people falling in love, but then something begins to go wrong. The feelings of love begin to fade and we start seeing our partner’s failings.

They begin to irritate us and act in ways that seem unloving. We then either move into compromise and settle for a relationship with less love and connection or we end the relationship and try to find someone better. Forming a successful romantic relationship is a real challenge, but it ends up this way because of a basic misunderstanding about love.

All our romantic problems stem from a destructive self-belief – that we are personally lacking in love. Deep down we feel empty and incomplete. It feels as if there is something missing in our lives. These feelings of scarcity then create a powerful need for love. That is why we go out into the world to find a romantic partner who will take away the emptiness and make us feel whole again.

Of course our search for somebody to love us is often successful and the sensations of falling in love convince us that our strategy was right. Unfortunately, the ease with which we fall in love can become the biggest trap we face in life, because it seems to confirm that love lies outside us.

The sad truth is that most of us fall in love for the wrong reason. We bring a partner into our lives to fulfill our need for love, and it is this outward focus that creates all our problems. It creates a dependence on our partners – we rely on their presence in our lives, to make us happy. This is a recipe for disaster, as I discovered when my marriage failed. When my wife suddenly left me, all my needs and insecurities were laid bare and it was not a pretty sight. How many of us fall in need rather than fall in love?

I am not saying needs are wrong – to be human is to have all sorts of needs, but the need for love is one of the most destructive. As long as we search outwards for love we will fail to see that we have it within. Our strong need for love usually comes from early experiences in our lives where we felt our needs were not met.

Not only do we resent the people who failed to give us what we wanted (normally or parents), we also feel guilt for having failed in the relationship that would have provided those needs. We get really guilty for having given up on our store of self-love and taken on the belief that we are lacking in love. At the spiritual level we feel guilty for having turned away from our divine essence – that of 100% love and connection.

The problem with being needy in a relationship is that it tries to take from our partner. It assumes that they have the thing we need to make us happy. They may feel scarcity themselves so having to continually meet our needs drives up the feeling that they are losing something. We might end up fighting for who is going to meet the needs of the other person – this is the power struggle stage of relationships.

When we feel our needs have not been met we might get angry, disappointed or moody as a way of punishing the other person. If this carries on we might be hit by depression because we just cannot get rid of the emptiness and deadness that we feel inside. Neediness eventually destroys a relationship or takes away all its joy.

So how do we remove the neediness from a relationship? Well the first thing to do is recognize the times when it is present in us and in our partner. Sometimes we may know we are being needy but at others we can be blind to it. If there is any bad feeling in a relationship, you can be sure that unmet needs are the cause. Try to identify what these needs are. What is not being met for you in the relationship – it will be exactly the same for your partner.

Here is the quick fix: Try to give the need that you feel is missing and it will be returned by your partner. Then start to understand your own needs in a situation. When was the first time in your life when they were not met? What was happening? Who was present?

Try to forgive the people involved and realize that you could have given that missing need if you had been more mature and experienced. Visualize the situation now and give the need to all the people present. Breathe love back into the situation. As you heal your need you will find that your self-esteem grows.

You can do this exercise for all your emotional needs. Typically they lie in layers in the mind so we have to repeat the process for all the layers. Soon you will become an expert at spotting needs and healing them. Every single human problem can be traced back to a feeling of unmet needs and at the deepest level it is a belief that there is a lack of love.

Emotional maturity and intelligence is really the ability to become aware of our needs and then not to play them out on the people around us. If we can’t do this our needs drive the things that we want away and paradoxically as we heal the needs within, the very things that we desire begin to appear in our lives!

Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationship counsellor and a Psychology of Vision Trainer (an organisation that specialises in helping people have happier and more fulfilled relationships. You can find lots more advice and tips about love, romance and relationships on www.iloveyouloveme.com

Relationship Problems – The REAL Solution

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Relationship Problems – The REAL Solution

By Ivan Kelly

Sue knew she had relationship problems. She was sure that her husband had a mistress and was agonizing about how to deal with it.

Should she confront him? Would it be better to just pack her bags and leave? Maybe she should pack his bags? Perhaps it would be better to ignore her suspicions and hope that her husband will come to his senses before it’s too late?

Samantha’s long-time partner was a great guy - when he was in a good mood.  It’s just that  he couldn’t resist trying to control everything – and then criticizing and blaming her when things didn’t go just the way he wanted.

These are just a few of the relationship problems women face, of course. There are jealous boyfriends; partners whose impatience turns simple conversations into conflicts; husbands who are curt, difficult, angry, lazy, untidy, drunk, gamblers, unstable and those suffering from all kinds of addictions!

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Behind it all are women who simply want to be loved, respected and appreciated.

However, the real solution isn’t frothy. It won’t tell you that the answer to your relationship problems is to buy some new lingerie, spend heaps at the beauty parlor and then go away for a romantic weekend.

It deals with deeper issues that lie at the heart of those difficulties and shows you how you can turn your life around.

With the real solution you can see quick improvement but lasting gains may take longer as you discover how your life can become much more than it is today. How long it takes will depend on how much it means to you. It doesn’t take a lot of effort.

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It does require that you make a decision and that you choose a better life.

This means the real solution isn’t for every woman. Most will prefer to have a few action tips (smile, avoid argument, encourage communication, be nice to his friends and family,  etc, etc). Then life continues in much the same way as before. Perhaps it IS better for a brief time. Then it’s back to where you started.

The solution will show you the steps you can take to move from feeling unhappy and unfulfilled. It will show you how to gain more control over your life and  from this will flow more joyful experiences.

That raises another problem, of course: if YOU’RE in control of your life; if you are the captain at the wheel, who is responsible for steering the ship away from the rocks into calmer waters?

The REAL solution is knowing HOW to create a more beautiful life – and then doing it!

A number of useful books have been written to show readers HOW they can get past relationship problems and gain more love and harmony. The best of these will describe simple processes, and examples, that readers can easily follow and quickly apply to make a HUGE difference in their lives. There is one that can really help:

Relationship Advice – 5 Ways to Open Your Heart & Connect With More Love

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Are your chakras causing relationship problems? You may be thinking “chakra what?” And then doubly curious what it means to make your heart chakra happy. Many people are unaware of the chakra system that lives inside and guides us. Read on to learn more about how this system affects you and your relationship.

There are 7 chakras that run from the base of our spine to the crown of our head and are located a few inches in front of the spinal column. They cannot be seen physically, rather they are referred to as energy vortexes. They receive, assimilate and express our life force.

Relationship problems can arise when your chakras are out of whack because they interact with our psyche. If we have polluted thoughts these sites become clogged or stuck with this negative energy and get in the way of the natural flow of energy. This causes us to become out of alignment with who we really are.

In terms of love and romance, the heart chakra has to do with self-acceptance, self-love and the ability to love others. If you have unresolved pain from past issues of the heart or your current relationship is disappointing and less than luscious, you will find that you feel out of balance and the goal is to get back to a happy and healthy loving state.

You can ask yourself these three questions to figure out if your heart chakra needs some help:

1) Do you love yourself?

2) Are you able to forgive past hurts from others?

3) Do you blame yourself and others for all that’s wrong in your life?

If the answer is yes to any of the above then include these affirmations in your daily health regime:

1) “I am worthy of love”

2) “I release my pain and forgive the past. I am free to love.”

3) “I am loving to myself and others.”

Take action to improve your heart chakra by:

1) Singing.

2) Playing with a child or pet.

3) Taking a walk in nature.

4) Figuring out what brings you joy and happiness and doing it!

5) Phoning or spending time with someone you love.

Relationship problems are often caused by the stress our bodies and emotions are challenged with daily. Just like brushing your teeth, make it a ritual to take care of these energy vortexes to bring them back into harmonious alignment. Doing this on a regular basis ensures love and romance will always be yours.

For more tips on relationship advice please visit http://www.SherriNickols.com and claim your free report, 7 Ways to Unleash Your Feminine Power. Authored by Sherri Nickols-romance coach for women who want to live a fully Self-expressed life and add fun and adventure to their relationship.

Easily the best way to gain more Love and Harmony in your relationships is to know this life-changing material.

Read the information on this page before it’s too late:

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Love and Relationships – 5 ideas to help things run smooth

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Love and relationships never run smooth, regardless of how you might think they do for some people. Everyone in their relationship at some time has challenges and the love gets put into question. It’s then people need to seek out advice and help in their relationships to re-discover new ways to keep their relationship alive, or perhaps simply recreate that spark that may have become absent from what was once a loving relationship.

Don’t worry; there is plenty of relationship advice available and there are many different approaches one can take to improving his or her relationship. However, sometimes it is difficult to identify what’s required to be fixed on your own. That said, don’t think all advice is ‘good advice’ – advice is very personal and subjective; what works for some folks does not necessarily work for others. A key factor to consider when seeking advice is be guided by what others’ opinion is of the person giving the advice. Always try to ‘take advice’ from someone who has been recommended by someone you trust and respect – even better if it’s from someone who too has had to seek help in solving their relationship problems.

Here are some quick ideas from us about what we’ve learned about relationships:

Idea #1: If an argument occurs, avoid negative statements such as, “You never..” or “You always…”. These type of statements are unfair and will get you nowhere with your partner. You should think of positive ways to voice your concerns, and use “I” statements.

Idea #2: Never forget a successful relationship takes the effort of both partners. Relationships are always a work in progress.

Idea #3: One really satisfying trick is to write down all the wonderful things that you love about your partner. Then, pull it out and read it when you are having a difficult time. Reading about the positives will help motivate you to put more effort into your working positively on the relationship.

Idea #4: Whether you use text messaging or email, learn! Taking a little time to send a text message or an email to your partner that simply says, “I love you” can be highly impacting in a good way – it’s the smallest gesture that can often mean the most.

Idea #5: Pick your moment wisely to talk through serious issues with your partner. Things will go much more smoothly if your partner is not irritated, tired or generally low.

Also, look around your family and friends and see if there’s any couples you know in a successful relationship or marriage, who may be able to offer you advice on relationships. Yes, you might hear similar advice as we’re offering here but that will just reaffirm the importance of these little ideas. Obviously you will need to decide which pieces of advice you think will work for you and your partner, and then apply them.

And remember that if your partner respects and loves you, and seriously is committed to overcoming any and all hurdles in your relationship, he or she will likely follow your lead and begin to be more positive, loving and communicative. It’s then it becomes a win-win situation for both parties.

Steve & Louise have experienced the relationship problems many face at some point, and in an effort to find answers to their problems, they spent months researching the vast array of relationship help and advice products, identifying the good and the not-so-good. Read their independent and unbiased reports: http://www.Relationship-Reports.com – Facts, Product Info & Customer Feedback

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Easily the best way to gain more Love and Harmony in your relationships is to know this life-changing material.

Read the information on this page before it’s too late:

Gain More Love and Harmony – Now!

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How To Get Over A Bad Relationship

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Breakups are never easy to deal with, especially when it was the man who initiated it. Women coming off a bad relationship find themselves in an emotional limbo, where they look for time and space to recover and sort her emotions out. This is a normal and healthy reaction – what may be unhealthy is how she decides to recover from a bad relationship.

Women recovering from emotional breakdowns tend to ask themselves what went wrong in the relationship, such as something she did that may have forced him to leave her, or whether she could have done something to convince him to stay. Some women spend so much time focusing on “what went wrong” in their relationship that these thoughts dominate their psyche when heading into the next relationship – and it’s never a good sign.

Basically, these women can make two types of mistakes, each the flip side of the other.

First, these women may look for a man with the exact same qualities of their “ex.” This is an attempt to start over, to see what would happen if they recreated their previous relationship and only stayed away from the things they think they did wrong. Sadly, this doesn’t work – it only shows that these women haven’t gotten over their ex, and will naturally work to the detriment of the new relationship.

And second, these women may look for a man with none of their ex’s qualities. These women think that if they got into a relationship with a totally different man, they can prevent the same types of problems from happening again. Unfortunately, doing so doesn’t mean they’ll be free from all relationship problems – they’ll only have different ones. Worse, these women may find themselves in a relationship with a man with so few good qualities.

So is there a way to recover from a bad relationship without getting into something that’s even worse?

Yes, simply by doing the opposite of what most women do when soul-searching. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, try to think of what went right – try to remember the good things that happened in your past relationship and how they began. This may be very difficult, especially if you have to use these good vibes to move your next relationship forward – but it’s simply the only way to get over the breakup and emerge as a hardier, more mature woman.

The bottom line is this – what you focus on will grow. If you focus on your insecurities and imperfections, you can bet that these will be the forefront of your self-image when you get into your next relationship. Doing the opposite – focusing on your good traits and attractive strengths – gives you a healthy emotional boost when starting over.

Just remember that there used to be a time when being with a man was the best part of your life. Your focus should not be so much into getting into an relationship with none of the things that went wrong, but instead getting into one with more of the good things that went right. If you head into a new relationship with a pessimistic frame of mind, you can bet it’s going to be a miserable one.

Aaron Adams specializes in relationship matters for women. Tired of games? Be loved for the real you. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com .

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Easily the best way to gain more Love and Harmony in your relationships is to know this life-changing material.

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4 Excellent Tips To Fix Relationship Problems That You Have

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Human relationships can be pretty complicated and difficult. Afterall, your partner and you are two unique individuals with different needs. When your relationship hits the rocks of your relationship, it does not mean that both of you have to go your separate ways. By learning how to fix relationship problems, you could save you from the pains of separation or divorce.

Here are 4 simple steps you can take to work on fixing your relationships with others:

1. Identify The Root Of The Problem
Recognize that both of you have problems. Nothing can proceed if both of you will just ignore and pretend that things will improve on its own. Avoiding facing the issues between you and your partner can only lead to failure as problems will only get out of control when left unresolved.

More likely, your relationship will only be torn apart. In the end, you will both find yourselves lost in the sea of misunderstandings and conflicts in your relationship. To make things up, it is good that you keep an open communication line with your partner.

One you’ve realized that there is something wrong with your relationship, get into and know the root causes of your conflicts.

* Are both emotional and physical needs being met?
* Are you bored?
* Do you till love each other?
* Do you need time for yourself or some space to rediscover yourself?
* Or are you not spending quality time with each other?
* All these questions can help you track the root cause of your problems.

Knowing the real problem in your relationship can help you fix relationship.

2. Pay Attention To Your Partner
Do this attentively and with no interruption. Pay attention to the emotions that lie behind the uttered words and body language. Listening is the best thing you should learn to fix relationship. Ask your partner what he or she wants and listen to the answer.

3. Spend Time To Work Things Out
The most crucial key to survive relationship problems is that both of you must be willing to keep the relationship alive and remain open to the idea that things could be fixed.

4. Take Action
Nothing can take place if both of you do not take action. Do something that will bring back the warmth in a relationship. Remember that the bond of love grows even stronger after you’ve gone through tough times and make the effort to fix your relationship together as a couple.

Leaning to fix relationship problems can be a tough job if you don’t know how. If you really want to know the secrets to fix relationship, you may want to seek help at our site http://www.squidoo.com/rebuildrelationship. Discover the secrets of making up with your partner. Don’t let simple struggles to break your relationship!

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Why most people go about resolving relationship problems in the wrong way

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Most people in trying to solve a problem concentrate on the problem rather than its solution. This is a mistake as this way of thinking locks you into the problem making you feel helpless and unable to deal with it.

In reality this is far from the case. Your unconscious mind the 90% of the mind that we are not usually aware of has great problem solving capabilities. Once you have the know how you can use these at will.

Thinking of the problem rather than the solution cuts off any help from your unconscious mind. It happens like this. The smoker who wants to quit thinks "I must stop smoking" but his unconscious mind can’t process a negative so it hears and acts upon the word "smoking". This causes him to continue smoking and possibly to even smoke more.

How does this relate to dating, Karen thinks, "I wish Keith and I weren’t always arguing" The emphasise is on arguing which is what she is concentrating on making it likely to happen even more. What Karen needs to think of and mentally picture is the situation that she actually wants, she and Keith enjoying each other’s company.

Once Karen does this its likely that over the next few hours and days she will think of ways to make time spent with Keith pleasant and argument free. This process would be helped along by Karen writing down as many possible solutions as she can think of to the problem of her arguments with Keith.

The more she can be creative and think out of the box the more likely she is to find a workable solution. It’s important to generate as many ideas as possible for two reasons. 1/ Problems are often solved by using a combination of ideas and techniques rather than just one. 2/ Once Karen has her ideas she will turn them into "action steps" and act on them. If she comes up with only one or two ideas to turn into action steps she may not act on any of them, if she comes up with fifteen there is a good chance that she will act on five. This way she increases the likelihood of taking action to bring about a solution.

Once Karen has written down her whole list of potential solutions she will examine each one in turn and decide which one solution or combination of solutions is most likely to work best for her. She will then turn her solution into an action step or series of steps.

She will then begin to solve the problem. It’s important to start putting the plan into action now rather than waiting until tomorrow or next week. By taking action Karen puts herself in control of the situation. Although Karen can’t control Keith’s behaviour she can control her responses to it. By doing so she is able to move herself and Keith forward to achieving the goal of enjoying each other’s company.

Karen will also be prepared to adapt her solution as the situation unfolds. She will show self-reliance and flexibility in the way that she deals with her relationship problem. These qualities will almost certainly be rewarded. Most importantly she will concentrate on the solution not the problem.

To learn more about solving relationship problems visit http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk Eileen is a psycholgist who turned around her own relationship around by using the insights of psychology. She is passionate about helping other women do the same. You can email her and claim your free ” Love Magnet” report from eileen@eileenedwards.co.uk.

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