Before the flame completely dies out it can pay you to take stock of your relationship and ask yourself: Why Doesn’t My Husband Love Me Anymore? The helpful thoughts which follow may set you thinking about ways you can make a difference and stir those embers. Perhaps you could find another log to put on the fire?

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Why Doesn’t My Husband Love Me Anymore? A List of Possible Reasons

By Leslie Cane

I often get emails from wives who have been either told by their husband that he has fallen out of love with them or he has been exhibiting cold, distant, standoffish behavior that leaves no doubt that the spark is fading. Many of these women have no idea how to proceed. They’ve tried many different tactics. They’ve tried to pour on the attention and affection, but sometimes the husband seems to like this even less.

They’ve tried to give him space or to have patience, but then things just keep right on deteriorating. And, they’ve tried playing hard ball and offering ultimatums or freezing him out as “two can play that game.” But, of course, in this scenario all you have are two people who are ignoring and avoiding each other.

In truth, most of these wives deep down want to save their marriage, but they just don’t know how to do it. How can you save your marriage if your husband no longer loves you? A marriage can’t exist without genuine loving feelings. I always respond by telling these women that it’s quite possible that their husband does still love them, but every day stresses begin to choke these feelings out. And, husbands begin to get caught up in semantics and categories rather than looking what is really going on and how to fix it. So, in the following article, I’ll offer a list of reasons why your husband supposedly may not love you anymore and then will offer tips on how to respond or fix this.

Reason Why Your Husband No Longer Loves You Number One: Neglect: If there is a common thread that I see in the letters that I get, it’s this. We all live such hectic lifestyles today. Many of us work (working at home is work), take care of our children, watch over our aging parents, try to fit in other obligations, and then try to squeeze in some quality time for our marriage.

Something has to give. If we’re trying to do a million different things, than none of these things are going to be done well. That’s OK and understandable.

But, often the thing that we put on the back burner is our marriage. Because we assume that our husband knows that we love him. He lives with us and he sees all of the different things that we are obligated to do. He knows that we would give him more time if we could, right? Well, intellectually he knows this. But, he also knows, from previous experience, how good things can be between you.

He remembers the smiling woman who couldn’t get enough of him in the beginning. He remembers how you used to hang on his every word and make him feel like the most interesting man in the universe. And, frankly, he misses that. He can’t help but contrast the two and feel quite disappointed.

And, men often aren’t very good at seeing solutions, at least in terms of emotions. So, they misinterpret what is happening. They feel the disappointment and the void and they assume that the spark is gone – rather than seeing this for what it really is – the fact that the two of you just need to be better about making the time.

Put the two of you back into the scenario where you spend a lot of fun, light hearted quality time together, and the feelings of love are going to eventually return. The equation is very basic, really. Time in equals quality and closeness out.

Possible Cause Of Your Husband Falling Out Of Love With You Number Two: The Way That He Feels About Himself Has Changed: A man will never have such high self esteem as when he is deeply in love. When someone is looking at him with adoring eyes, laughing at his jokes, and listening intently to everything he says, he’s going to have a high opinion of himself because he’s mirroring the approval that you are putting out there.

However, as your time attention, and affection begin to shift, he begins to wonder where he has gone wrong. He begins to fear that his allure is fading and this does a number on his self esteem.

Alternatively, sometimes a stressor that has nothing really to do with you (his job, his extended family, money or health issues, etc.) will be so disturbing and stressful to him that this sort of starts to invade or cloud other areas of his life. Nothing is going right for him so everything is broken and negative. This is hard to process for you because you’ve done nothing wrong, and yet these external factors are not under your control to fix.

Your best bet here is to hang in there and to remember the things that used to soothe and cheer up your partner when you were first dating. I’d be willing to bet that he used to see you as his light during dark days, as his rock. You must allow him to see you in this way again. Be upbeat, reassuring and as lighthearted as you can. Try to make time for fun things that you can enjoy together to lighten the mood. Shared, pleasurable experiences will almost always make things better and will build on one another.

Red Flag Number Three: He’s Comparing Your Relationship To Someone Else’s': Often times, I see husbands who become friends with younger or newly married (or remarried) guys at work or in sports who seem to have everything in their favor. The young guy has a great job, a hot, attentive wife, and is walking around on air.

More mature and settled husbands will often look at this and think that they have failed in some way, have settled for less, or have let things get off track. This is a depressing thought for anymore. And, like I said before, these depressing thoughts start to bleed into every other area of his life – including you and your marriage.

There are a couple of ways to handle this. First, you can bump up the excitement and the spark in your own relationship. However, you can not do this in a fake or in genuine way. If you just put on a show, your husband will know. Many men write me and tell me that these attempts are just so obvious and frankly insulting. You must get yourself to a place where you can be genuine about this because he will know the difference.

Second, often if you wait this out with dignity and grace, offering support the whole time, the shine will start to wear off as your husband begins to get the whole picture and to see the reality of his friend’s situation. No marriage is perfect, no matter how it looks. Eventually, this will sink in, but it’s important that you keep on exhibiting your best qualities and your attention and affection in the meantime.

I understand how you feel, because a very short time ago, I was exactly where you are. But, I learned that my husband had fallen out of love with the relationship instead of falling out of love with me. I was able to use this knowledge to change course, return my husband’s love and save the marriage (when I was the only one interested in doing so at the time.) You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/

This piece on marriage problems caught my eye, so I thought it would be an interesting read. As you might expect, much of my time is spent locating suitable articles, news and other helpful material that offers advice which assists visitors to have more enjoyable relationships. Be sure to look over it all. Don’t forget to provide your thoughts so we can all enjoy your thoughts:

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Relax, Reduce the Tension and Marriage Problems Melt Away

Modern day lives play havoc with the stress levels which, left unchecked, can negatively impact on every aspect of our lives and form the very basis of marriage problems.

We are all running from here to there, trying to hold down a job, look after the family and keep the house going with little or no time for our marriages or quality family life. More and more marriage problems have developed off the back of our hectic living purely as a result of having no time to relax and nurture our relationships.

There comes a time when you have to say enough is enough and I’m not talking about ending your marriage but feeding it and looking after it so that your relationship develops and grows into something that is very special which is what marriage should be all about. Most marriage problems shouldn’t be seen as the beginning of the end but purely as a wake up call, an indication that the long term neglect has to come to an end.

If you’re marriage is suffering and the tell tell signs of marriage problems have set in then now is the time to evaluate the quality time you spend together, which I would hazard a guess and say is very little if any at all, and take positive action to ensure the gradual decline in your marriage isn’t left to continue.

Everyone is different and everyone’s idea of a relaxing and enjoyable time is different but you must resurrect that enjoyable common interest or develop new ones if you want to eliminate your marriage problems and enable your relationship to survive.

As we grow older we change, so what we liked at the start of our marriage isn’t necessarily what we like to do now but as we change we need to ensure that we adapt and not just stop spending time together but find new interests and do different things together. And the key word here is together.

You mustn’t just do things to keep your partner happy, that wouldn’t solve any of your marriage problems you have to ensure that you both enjoy what you do. If you are having fun, you relax and if you relax your learn to enjoy each others company again and start to redevelop that magic that existed at the very beginning.

I have changed dramatically over the years but my relationship has changed with me. Our far more active lifestyle has been toned down and while we still find ourselves constantly on the go we now enjoy some inactive quality time together sitting on the patio with a drink in our hands watching birds, rabbits, squirrels and the fish in our pond.

It doesn’t always have to be about excitement and fun, marriage is about feeling special and knowing you’re special even when there is no time to show it. Loose that bond and there is little basis for a marriage which is when the marriage problems start to set it.

Take time each day, even if it’s just a few minutes at the end of the day, to relax together. If your spare time is limited you have to make sure that the majority of that time is spent together. If you say now that you have no spare time, then that must mean for any relationship and this decision I’m sure you will regret.

Just think about it, spending no time together is like living with a stranger or at very best a flat mate who you would have no feelings for, it’s a disaster waiting to happen. If you carry on neglecting your marriage how can it ever survive your marriage problems and if you neglect this one the odds are you will neglect the next and the next.

Marriage problems often grow from a lack of understanding but how can you be expected to understand someone who you spend very little time with and the time you do spend together is within a highly stressful environment. Believe me when I say you have to learn to make that special time for your marriage and if you leave it too long you might just be too late!

Most if not all relationships go through rough patches every once in a while that can ultimately lead to a breakup. While it is true that this is a common situation in every relationship especially serious and long ones, you should also be ready on how to handle these troubles and further avoid more problems in the future.

If at first you feel like you do not really see anything wrong with your constant bickering and shouting matches, think again. If this is how you talk to each other often, then you must stop and think about how to deal with this problem. Making up may be sweet and exciting at first, but if you seem to keep on fighting all the time, one or both parties may just stop trying to make up anymore.

There are also instances where we tend to take our partners for granted, albeit unintentionally. It is impossible to spend all your time with your partner, but you also need to spend more quality time with your spouse even if you feel that everything else at work or at home is taking up more of your time.

Ignoring your better half can lead to more serious problems, you cannot blame your partner if he is spending more time with friends or office mates while you tend to your personal affairs. And there can be circumstances when he/she gets to meet someone else who can shower them with more attention and thus move on to a new relationship.

However, the final scene where you find your relationship on the brink of breaking up can still be avoided. You will just need to realize it and decide on the next step to do to save your relationship. Communication is always the key to a successful relationship, and as your relationship grows and lasts longer, it is very hard to cope with each other because sometimes we think that our partners will stay with us forever.

This is a common misconception. Like everything that grows, relationships need constant nurturing. And what better way to nurture yours than to keep in constant communication with your better half. It is important that as soon as you smell trouble brewing, you do not wait for it to go away but deal with it as soon as you can. Start with asking your partner out on a dinner date to spend more quality time with each other.

You can then slowly inquire about your partner’s concerns without accusing or blaming him/her. Talking about the solution is always better than dealing with the trouble when everything gets out of hand, and you may not be able to salvage what is left of your relationship if you wait a little longer.

How you deal with the break up in the early stages is very critical if you want to get your ex back. The opening move can be the most important to get back your ex, as explained in this Free Video, from the man that has helped over 50,000 people In 77 countries at: http://www.BreakupAdviceHelp.com

Article Source: ArticleSpan

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Gain More Love and Harmony – Now!

Do you need to know if he really does want a relationship? Are you with a guy and need to figure out if he just sees you as a casual fling? Have you been hurt by men before and want to know how you can tell if he truly likes you too? Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith when it comes to romance. Everyone knows what it is like to be hurt, but finding true love means taking that risk. However, you can eliminate some risk by learning to tell if he really does want a relationship with you before you put yourself out there. Here is how to do it:

First, ask yourself if you are at the top or the bottom of his priority list. You can gauge your position with him by how often he is the one who calls. If you are the one who is constantly suggesting that next date, then you may have a problem. Let the guy do the chasing, or else you may end up running after someone who isn’t into you.

Second, ask yourself if the time that you spend together is quality time. If you suspect that he usually calls you last minute because he is bored, don’t get impressed. Also, if you can tell that he doesn’t put any thought or effort into planning out your dates, then he may only be contacting you when he has nothing better to do.

Last, you can tell if he wants a relationship or not by how he treats you around his friends. If your guy is comfortable telling his friends and family about you and inviting you to spend time with them, that is a clear indication that he wants a relationship. On the other hand, if you suspect that he is purposefully hiding you from them, then you need to get out and find someone who really wants to be with you.

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This article is contributed by Tina Jones. Tina is part of the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women who want to understand male psychology, how to attract men, and find true love. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

Easily the best way to gain more Love and Harmony in your relationships is to know this life-changing material.

Read the information on this page before it’s too late:

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Human relationships can be pretty complicated and difficult. Afterall, your partner and you are two unique individuals with different needs. When your relationship hits the rocks of your relationship, it does not mean that both of you have to go your separate ways. By learning how to fix relationship problems, you could save you from the pains of separation or divorce.

Here are 4 simple steps you can take to work on fixing your relationships with others:

1. Identify The Root Of The Problem
Recognize that both of you have problems. Nothing can proceed if both of you will just ignore and pretend that things will improve on its own. Avoiding facing the issues between you and your partner can only lead to failure as problems will only get out of control when left unresolved.

More likely, your relationship will only be torn apart. In the end, you will both find yourselves lost in the sea of misunderstandings and conflicts in your relationship. To make things up, it is good that you keep an open communication line with your partner.

One you’ve realized that there is something wrong with your relationship, get into and know the root causes of your conflicts.

* Are both emotional and physical needs being met?
* Are you bored?
* Do you till love each other?
* Do you need time for yourself or some space to rediscover yourself?
* Or are you not spending quality time with each other?
* All these questions can help you track the root cause of your problems.

Knowing the real problem in your relationship can help you fix relationship.

2. Pay Attention To Your Partner
Do this attentively and with no interruption. Pay attention to the emotions that lie behind the uttered words and body language. Listening is the best thing you should learn to fix relationship. Ask your partner what he or she wants and listen to the answer.

3. Spend Time To Work Things Out
The most crucial key to survive relationship problems is that both of you must be willing to keep the relationship alive and remain open to the idea that things could be fixed.

4. Take Action
Nothing can take place if both of you do not take action. Do something that will bring back the warmth in a relationship. Remember that the bond of love grows even stronger after you’ve gone through tough times and make the effort to fix your relationship together as a couple.

Leaning to fix relationship problems can be a tough job if you don’t know how. If you really want to know the secrets to fix relationship, you may want to seek help at our site http://www.squidoo.com/rebuildrelationship. Discover the secrets of making up with your partner. Don’t let simple struggles to break your relationship!

Article Source: ArticleSpan

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