When your husband doesn’t want to have sex it can be puzzling and disturbing. Insecurity and a rampant imagination can add greatly to the difficulties. Here is an article to consider which shines a light on the issues. After you’ve read it, don’t forget to provide your thoughts so everyone can know your comments:

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Your Husband Doesn’t Want to Have Sex? 5 Amazing Answers and Solutions

By Dr. Randy Carney

So you find your husband doesn’t want to have sex? That indeed is amazing to you because when you were first married, all you had to do was “show up,” and he was ready. The last thing you thought would happen to the two of you would be that you would have marriage intimacy problems.

This state of your marriage is also amazing to you because you read books saying that for many husbands, his number one or number two need is physical intimacy. When your husband doesn’t want sex, many questions can form in your mind.

This may start to cause insecurity on your part. Does he not love you anymore? Does he not find you attractive? While sometimes this may be the case, surprisingly, many times there are other factors..While this may not represent some of the biggest marriage problems, it can certainly be one of the top marriage problems when it reaches extremes.

Some who help others work through marriage problems have discovered a secret.

Here is the secret:

When a husband does not want to have sex, yes, the wife should check up on the two areas in insecurity just mentioned, but actually there are five answers to the question. Each of these five answers do NOt mean that he does not love you anymore. Neither do they mean that he no longer finds you attractive;

Here are the surprising five answers and some solutions:

1. He may be experiencing some physical problems, and he is embarrassed to talk to you about it. some of these types of problems can be very damaging to his ego. Since he wants you to look up to him, he finds it difficult to talk about this kind of failure. Solution: work on keeping lines of communication open. Be understanding. Help him feel comfortable enough to talk to you. These types of problems can be helped by consulting a medical professional.

2. He may have something bothering him outside of the marriage. There may be countless pressures from his job. He may be experiencing stress. He may be worried about financial struggles. It may even surprise him that this type of stress affects the physical area of marriage. Solution: Give support. Find ways to help him relax. Reassure him of your respect.

3. He may need to connect on a deeper emotional level. You both may find this surprising, since many tend to connect the emotional level more to the wife. On the other hand, the husband wants real love and respect. If he feels you are just tolerating him, he can experience a whole range of emotions that even he may not be able to understand. Solution: Go beyond the superficial. When he wants to connect on deeper levels. Be there, ready to talk and to listen.

4. He has a deep need for your admiration and respect. If he does not feel that he has that, he may feel beaten down–less of a man. If unchecked, this can lead to a surprising failure for him in the sexual area. Solution: be truly grateful for his good points. Avoid nagging. Avoid cutting him down. Be especially careful of what your say about him in public. Truly show your respect and admiration wherever you can.

5. He may need to have a key ingredient restored. That ingredient is passion–passion like your earlier days. The problem is that every marriage goes through a type of progression. The passion actually will take different forms. However, do what you can to bring variety into your experience. Encourage him anytime he does something right that excites you. When a little passion surfaces, add fuel to the fire.

These five amazing answers and solutions to the situations where your husband doesn’t want to have sex can be very helpful. However, they do not form the whole answer. Get all the information you can about ways to restore and enrich your marriage.

Actually, besides these five solutions, there are six keys to marital bliss. Marriage Intimacy and Six Keys to Marital Bliss. Find Out What You Need to Know About Marriage Intimacy and How it Contibutes to Marital Bliss. http://www.DrRandyCarney.Webs.Com/GreatphysicalIntimacy.htm Dr. Randy Carney is the author of The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Mariatal Bliss. Copyright by Randy Carney.

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Are You Complacent And Ignoring These Common Signs of marriage Problems?

All couples go through difficult times, when outside pressures just get the better of them and things start to go badly at home, and they aren’t necessarily signs of problems in the marriage. Financial stresses, family pressures, crazy schedules and career obligations can all cause strain on any relationship. So how can you tell if these problems are typical, or indeed are early warning signals of marriage problems that might be cause for concern?

Let’s look at these common signs of marriage and relationship issues:

a) Complacency

Many marriage counselors agree that one of the first warning signs of potential problems in a marriage is complacency. Taking each other for granted, neglecting to spend time together, or forgetting to say “I love you”? can all be signs of marriage problems that can lead to a much larger crisis.

b) Decreased physical intimacy

If your previously passionate love life has taken a turn for the worse, this could be another sign of a marriage problem. Of course, life events like having children, moving, changing jobs, or medical problems call all take it’s toll on a couple’s sex drive, and doesn’t necessary equate to marriage problems. However, if the trend continues for more than a couple of months, it could mean a sign of a marriage problem that needs to be addressed.

c) Avoiding conflict

In an effort to avoid a fight, some partners will avoid conflict altogether. While this may seem like a healthy reaction, in reality it only causes the underlying problem to fester. It can also lead to an explosion of bottled emotion once it finally comes out. Avoiding potential issues can be a signal of problems in a marriage.

d) Need to win

When one partner feels that they need to win every argument, you have a sure sign of a marriage issue or marriage problem. Marriage is a partnership, and requires teamwork. There should be no winning and losing in a marriage, only cooperation and working toward shared goals. If you aren’t doing this, you may be showing signs of problems in your marriage.

e) Considering an affair

If one or both of you are considering, even half-heartedly, having an affair, you are showing signs of problems in your marriage. Have an honest discussion with your partner about what is missing in your relationship, and work out some ways to rekindle the romance and stop signs of marriage trouble before they start. The long-term damage to your relationship caused by an extra-marital affair can be devastating. So think long and hard before you go down that road.

f) Separate vacations, separate lives

If you find you and your spouse making plans without each other, whether it’s separate vacations, hobbies that keep you occupied outside the house, or even separate bank accounts, you might be exhibiting signs of marriage issues or problems. It shows you could be drifting apart without both parties realizing. Remember that you are a couple, and that comes first, and you can nip these signs of marriage problems in the bud.

No relationship is perfect. However, there are several serious pitfalls that will end a relationship very quickly if you don’t try to avoid them. The 10 items below are some of the most common and serious mistakes than can keep you from having the lasting relationship you want.

1. Cheating. Being unfaithful is the number one way to end a relationship. If you want to see someone else, be responsible enough to end your relationship first. Anything else is just being dishonest and cowardly.
2. Hanging on to Your Ex. While it’s very important to remember your past mistakes, it’s also important to move on. If you’re still hung up on your ex, perhaps it’s too early to start a new relationship. Even when you think you have no feelings left, if you’re stuck in a pattern of bringing up your ex all the time when you talk with your new partner, you should do some serious thinking about where you’ve been and where you’re heading. Your current partner deserves your full attention. It’s only fair.
3. Rushing Things. Relationships develop at their own pace. Some move quickly, others move slowly and steadily. If you push your partner too much, you risk pushing them away. Two prime examples of this are the timing of physical intimacy and saying “I love you.” Both of these things are best when they happen naturally. You’ll both know when the time is right and the relationship won’t be strained.
4. Being Ruled by Jealousy. Often feelings of intense jealousy are caused by past relationships. If your partner is open and honest, you shouldn’t feel threatened by incidental contact with someone else. Conversation and interaction is normal. Trust is also important. If you become jealous with your partner without real cause, it can seriously harm your relationship.
5. Focusing too Much on the Future. When relationships are new, it’s not the time to dwell too much on the future. Live for the day. The flush of excitement of a new relationship only happens once. Instead of worrying about what’s coming next, enjoy what you have now. Often when one partner is too concerned about the future, the other partner is scared away thinking that they are too serious. Again, live for the moment and enjoy where you are.
6. Failure to Balance Friendships With the Relationship. It’s important for each of you to have friends. People often take things very personally when someone talks badly about a friend. Because of these two things, it’s critical to allow your partner time with and for their friends while avoiding talking badly about them. No one is perfect – most of our friends have quirks. Just remember that your friends can be a little strange, too. Finally, don’t feel threatened when your partner wants to do something with their friends.
7. Failure to Communicate. Open honest communication is one of the most important things in a healthy relationship. When you keep secrets or even feel too embarrassed to discuss your thoughts, it can build walls between you and your partner. Yes, there is a risk that your feelings or thoughts might end up causing problems in the relationship. However, if there’s a break-up because you’re not compatible, that’s OK. In fact it’s far better to find that out than to pretend you’re something you’re not.
8. Forcing your Partner to Change. This is the flip-side of #7. If you can’t accept who your partner is, you probably should find someone else. When you force your partner to change, there is often resentment and the changes rarely last. Even when a partner has a real problem, we can’t “fix” them. We can encourage, but if they don’t commit to the change on their own, it just won’t happen.
9. Blaming Your Partner. A relationship takes two people. So do relationship problems. It can be very difficult and often painful to admit our part in relationship problems, but an honest look at our actions is critical. If you expect your partner to face the blame for a problem all alone, don’t be surprised when they don’t want to do anything else with your either.
10. Staying After the Feeling is Gone. If you’re just going through the motions in a relationship, your partner knows it. If the relationship is worth saving, you both need to talk and find a way to reignite the spark If not, you should be honest enough to admit that the relationship is over. Often we’re stuck in these ruts because the uncomfortable “known” seems better than the scary “unknown.” In reality, a flat relationship will not last, and will often lead to serious conflict.

Doug has been writing articles for nearly 4 years. Come visit his latest website over at daletiffanylamp.org which helps people find the Tiffany Style Table Lamps they are looking for.

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