It’s over between you and your girlfriend, but it doesn’t have to be. You can have a second chance to be with her and make your relationship work.

Breaking up causes much pain and hurt, especially if you were a couple for a long time. You know how hard it is to wake up in the morning and spend another day without that person. You can’t stop thinking about that person because everywhere you turn there’s another reminder of the times you had together.

You obviously want to get your ex back from the bottom of your heart, but if you let your emotions get the better of you, you are only going to worsen the situation and make it harder, if not impossible, to get your ex back. Breaking up is hard to deal with, especially when you feel like the relationship shouldn’t have ended.

So what do you do when you want to get back with the one you love but end up making mistake after mistake and only push her further away? Just think about the starting days of your relationship, and by what she was attracted to from you. These things can help you to win her back again, But this time you have to be so very smart in each and every thing you try. Make sure that nothing you do will make her remember the bad things that happened, this will only make the situation worse instead of better.

Most girls like guys with a strong and independent attitude whom they can rely on and trust with their problems. So if you want to get back with your girlfriend you have to act in that manner and perspective.

Once you have allowed yourself time to adjust and think, your ex has had the same amount of time to calm down and think about their decision as well. Ideally, you should not have any contact with your ex for at least a month before trying to establish contact with them again.

The first thing to do is to phone her up and have a very brief, casual chat with her. Invite her to meet you somewhere neutral, but try to not make it sound like an important event. You must remember that you are trying to get your ex back in your arms, so try to refrain from emotional manipulation.

When you meet her explain that you have been giving things a lot of thought and that you want to apologize for all the mistakes you have made in the past. Explain that you still feel the same way about her and that you would like to be given another chance.

Breaking up is hard to deal with, especially when you feel that you still want to be with that person, but you just don’t know how to get her back. It’s a situation that many of us have been in and many more go through everyday. And while relationships can be saved, if you don’t have a clear focus on what you want and what to do to get it, then you just end up going around in circles and ruining your chances of restoring your relationship.

When your girlfriend breaks up with you and you want her to take you back, you might feel that if you should call, text, email her to tell her you’re sorry, you made a mistake, beg her to forgive you, to take you back. This is wrong and in fact does the exact opposite. It just re-enforces her decision in breaking up with you and proves to her that she’s better off without you because as the saying goes, no one needs the needy.

Now there are no shortcuts to get your ex back, but what if you had a step by step manual that made things easier for you? What if you had someone or something that told you what to and what not to do to get your ex-girlfriend back? Sound too good to be true?

Well, there are actually several books and articles that do offer the type of advice that you seek. All it takes is a little searching in the right direction to find one. Some of these are also actually quite good, well written, and even have some very good advice for relationships in trouble.

The author has found one such book with some excellent relationship advice by Matt Huston, holder of a Masters in Psychology. You can find it here; http://get-your-ex-back2.blogspot.com/

Article Source: ArticleSpan

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Most people in trying to solve a problem concentrate on the problem rather than its solution. This is a mistake as this way of thinking locks you into the problem making you feel helpless and unable to deal with it.

In reality this is far from the case. Your unconscious mind the 90% of the mind that we are not usually aware of has great problem solving capabilities. Once you have the know how you can use these at will.

Thinking of the problem rather than the solution cuts off any help from your unconscious mind. It happens like this. The smoker who wants to quit thinks "I must stop smoking" but his unconscious mind can’t process a negative so it hears and acts upon the word "smoking". This causes him to continue smoking and possibly to even smoke more.

How does this relate to dating, Karen thinks, "I wish Keith and I weren’t always arguing" The emphasise is on arguing which is what she is concentrating on making it likely to happen even more. What Karen needs to think of and mentally picture is the situation that she actually wants, she and Keith enjoying each other’s company.

Once Karen does this its likely that over the next few hours and days she will think of ways to make time spent with Keith pleasant and argument free. This process would be helped along by Karen writing down as many possible solutions as she can think of to the problem of her arguments with Keith.

The more she can be creative and think out of the box the more likely she is to find a workable solution. It’s important to generate as many ideas as possible for two reasons. 1/ Problems are often solved by using a combination of ideas and techniques rather than just one. 2/ Once Karen has her ideas she will turn them into "action steps" and act on them. If she comes up with only one or two ideas to turn into action steps she may not act on any of them, if she comes up with fifteen there is a good chance that she will act on five. This way she increases the likelihood of taking action to bring about a solution.

Once Karen has written down her whole list of potential solutions she will examine each one in turn and decide which one solution or combination of solutions is most likely to work best for her. She will then turn her solution into an action step or series of steps.

She will then begin to solve the problem. It’s important to start putting the plan into action now rather than waiting until tomorrow or next week. By taking action Karen puts herself in control of the situation. Although Karen can’t control Keith’s behaviour she can control her responses to it. By doing so she is able to move herself and Keith forward to achieving the goal of enjoying each other’s company.

Karen will also be prepared to adapt her solution as the situation unfolds. She will show self-reliance and flexibility in the way that she deals with her relationship problem. These qualities will almost certainly be rewarded. Most importantly she will concentrate on the solution not the problem.

To learn more about solving relationship problems visit http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk Eileen is a psycholgist who turned around her own relationship around by using the insights of psychology. She is passionate about helping other women do the same. You can email her and claim your free ” Love Magnet” report from eileen@eileenedwards.co.uk.

Article Source: ArticleSpan

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