If you are like many women who seem to experience the same problems with men from relationship to relationship, you are probably wondering if all men are the same. You have probably heard many times that “all men want the same thing.” Some women even come to detest men because of their experiences. Many men think the same about women.

But, if all men really want the same thing, then how do we account for successful relationships? Are they because the women in those relationships are less concerned with men’s behavior and so put up with more? Actually, quite the opposite. The women in those relationships have a high self-regard and would not allow their partner to mistreat them.

In fact, all men and women need the same things. We have survival needs such as those for air, shelter, water, food, etc. We also have emotional needs such as to love, feel loved, feel important, feel secure, and to feel like we belong. And sexual desire is not unique to men.

Some men have learned to get these needs met by being subservient, some by being dominant and some by being jerks Each of these kinds of behaviors attracts a different kind of woman. The reason for this is that some women have also learned to get their needs met by being subservient, dominant, outrageous, etc. Why else do you think they would behave this way?

What kind of man do you think a passive woman is attracted to–a domineering man, of course. Not because she likes his arrogant and controlling behavior, but because she knows how to be a partner for such a man. She knows how to get what she needs from such a man, even if at the same time she hates her relationship. She cannot stand him, but she will never leave him.

When these matched relationships do break up, both the man and woman find new partners who similarly match and thus repeat the same patterns in the new relationship. Having the same experience with men and women relationship after relationship, they conclude that all men and all women are the same.

These people think that their only hope lies in finding a man or woman who is exceptional and rare. They see good men or women as 1 in 1000. All the while, they are surrounded by men and women who are quite different from their usual partners. But, their attraction for these people is just not there. Equally, these people are not attracted to them. A man who is not domineering will have little interest in a passive woman.

For single people, the answer does not lie in finding a “rare” 1 in 1000 man or woman. For women, the answer lies in learning to become more like the women who have healthy relationships. They will then be attracted to healthy men and repelled by the unhealthy ones–a reversal of their usual trend. The healthy men will also be attracted to them. What seemed to be rare before will become abundant for the woman who has learned to live in a better way. The same answer is true for single men.

For people who are already in a relationship that they hate, the answer is neither to breakup nor to put up with the relationship. Breakup would just lead to continuing the same pattern with yet another person.

Putting up with the relationship will just keep you miserable. Just as for single men and women, working with someone like a relationship coach will help you to change your way of relating to your partner. Your partner’s bad ways of getting what he or she wants will no longer work, but they will still be able to get what they need by adjusting to your new behavior.

You change, they change, and the relationship changes. In this way one person changing his or herself really can change his or her relationship for the good and break out of a negative pattern and into a positive one.

Jack Ito PhD is a licensed psychologist and relationship coach. For 14 years he has helped more than 1000 men and women to have better relationships. Get your relationship unstuck with the Relationship Coach newsletter and a Free Relationship Planning Guide. Visit the Relationship Coach Blog for daily relationship advice.

Article Source: ArticleSpan

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If there’s one thing in life that will surely make you happy then it’s probably love. Loving someone, even loving something, is such a powerful feeling that you can go on with your life even if you’re facing the worst kind of monsters. Knowing that you love someone/something is reason enough to live a life full of both planned and spontaneous excitement.

Of course, there are different degrees and types of love. And though others are quite skeptical with love at first sight, there are instances that suggest that it can be experienced. However for those who are not that lucky to find love at first sighting, relationships can still turn and take shape through dating.

Dating has been as old as time. The courtship, the wooing, the pleasing and the ultimate surrender in dating has been a dance that even the oldest living souls have experienced. Dating can be sugary sweet. It can also be bitterly rancid. The success of dating ultimately depends on the person you are with, the circumstances that leads you and your date to that moment, the intensity of the attraction and the right timing.

Dating can be a lot of fun too. For those who are not yet sure on what they want in life, for those who are still young enough to settle down, for those who still have dreams to fulfill on their own, even for those who are scared of serious and lasting relationships yet, dating is the name of the game. Dating is such a wonderful experience that both men and women enjoy.

The mere act of asking someone on a date, the dressing up elegantly for the other person and the giddy happiness you feel in anticipation makes dating so refreshing and charming. It’s even considered as a wonderful aphrodisiac.

Even couples that are already in strong and long relationships still go on dates. It’s a vital aspect to strengthen the love and the connection that you have with your partner. There are different kinds of dating. There are also a lot of ways where you can find a date. Solo dates and group dates are two of the most recognized types of dating.

Casual and formal dating are some of the kinds of dating. Online dating is also another category of dating that is getting a lot of attention these days. Although some of the most traditional people don’t find online dating beneficial, there are still millions of people that are not just hooked but are truly enjoying online dating.

Whether you’re into the more conventional type of dating or the now adventurous type such as online dating, what you need to bear in mind is that you are your own man/woman. You don’t need to be bullied to accept a date proposal. You don’t need to be harassed online.

You are allowed to be intimated but you don’t need to succumb to the intimidation. You have to be aware, wise and cautious. Dating is a choice. Same goes with relationships.

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Article Source: ArticleSpan

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Gain More Love and Harmony – Now!