When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankl

You don’t need me to tell you about the dire state of the American economy and the reverberations being felt around the world. While you’re probably well aware of how this is directly impacting your bank account, home value, and nest egg, there is a hidden casualty that doesn’t seem to be getting any press: Marriages and relationships are buckling under the stress of these uncertain, stressful economic times.

Money is a sensitive and complicated issue for many couples. Arguments and power struggles can easily result and couples often feel blindsided by how a once strong relationship can be pulled apart by conflicts over finances. Here are five steps you can take to help your relationship survive this economic crisis.

1. Make the decision to keep your relationship a priority

It is easy to lose sight of the importance of your relationship during tough economic times (or during any stressful period). Many loving couples lose their way when worries about job security and money begin to take center stage in their relationship–intimacy is temporarily compromised when you or your partner become overwhelmed by fear; the very bond that supports your union can be weakened when your fears become a mainstay of your relationship.

Becoming conscious of this danger is essential to the health of your marriage or relationship. Make it a habit to check in with each other and acknowledge the importance of your relationship–you both need to make a conscious effort to help your love transcend the hurdles you face. With a little planning you and your partner can create “no-worry-zones” throughout the day–protected moments where you both give one another permission to only think about each other, about the positive aspects of your relationship. Think of these as temporary pit-stops that can allow you both to refuel the relationship.

Remember, if you’re anxious about money and/or job security, it will take effort and practice for you to be fully present with your spouse or partner in these moments.

2. Acknowledge and accept changing roles

We all play different roles in our relationships (and in our lives). For instance, you might be the “go-to person” during times of trouble; or maybe you’re the joker who makes everyone smile.

Often changes in family income bring about changes in the roles that were a natural part of your relationship–the bread-winner who took pride in supporting her/his family may now have to apply for unemployment (or take two jobs just to make ends meet); The full-time parent may now be forced to leave the children in someone else’s care and search for work. Beyond defining us as individuals, many of our assumed roles give particular meaning and value to our lives–and we can feel shaken at our core when stripped of these roles.

Share your struggles with your spouse/partner and supportive others if you are having difficulty transitioning into a new and unwelcome role in your life.

3. Find new ways to connect and enjoy one another

Your income and resources may change drastically during a financial crisis–or you may live with chronic anxiety that your finances can drastically change at any moment. Money that you originally allocated for vacations, dining out, gifts and other leisure activities may suddenly be needed to pay the mortgage or rent, be used for food, and utility bills (or saved for future expenses). Your relationship needs to change with the changing tides of your finances.

The challenge is for you and your partner to seek out new ways to connect and enjoy each other without the constraints of limited finances. You’ll need to adopt a new mindset for this to occur and you’ll each need to sacrifice. As your inspiration think of the starving artist or broke college student who are able to create meaningful relationships despite being financially destitute. Try to forget the trappings that money brings and head back to romance basics: holding hands, long walks, movies, games (is anyone up for charades?), making each other laugh…brainstorm together on how to have inexpensive, low- to no- cost fun.

4. Learn to ask for help/seek support from each other

Denial and stoicism aren’t useful, especially if you’re feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Unfortunately, some couples keep their collective heads in the sand and act like it is business as usual until something drastic happens–well, something pretty drastic is happening, so now may be a good time to get your head out of the sand.

All too often couples don’t share their fears with one another–this is especially the case for men. It’s so common it’s become a cliche: the stoic male who’d rather not talk about his feelings (especially emotions that make him feel helpless and not in control); the male who doesn’t access his partner for support but instead pulls away and attempts to deal with problems by himself, leaving his spouse/partner feeling isolated, confused and alone. And, while this pattern is more typically seen in men, there are women who also withdraw in the face of stress.

There’s no way to sugarcoat this: It’s dangerous for you and your partner to begin withdrawing from each other–you’ll now be faced with the anxiety of a troubled relationship on top of everything that’s playing out across the global economy.

5. Understand how you each cope with stress

Lack of financial security creates anxiety in all of us. As your anxiety level escalates during these uncertain times it becomes easy to displace your reactions to stress onto your partner.

No matter how healthy your relationship or marriage is, it is common for conflict to escalate when you and/or your partner are under stress. Ideally couples will learn to rely on one another to get through the difficult times that are part of every life. The reality, however, is often different.

A brief example of how financial stress negatively affected Vince and Karen:

Vince recently lost his job as a systems analyst at a large insurance company. In order to make ends meet, he needed to find work quickly and took a job making significantly less money. For the first time in their marriage, money was extremely tight. Rather than seek out Karen for support, Vince became more withdrawn and began to feel inadequate as a husband–his self-esteem is tightly wrapped around his ability to support his family. Confused by her husband’s behavior, Karen began to confront Vince about his “bad attitude.” Repeated conflicts replaced the once peaceful terrain of their marriage.

Part of the problem for Vince and Karen (as well as for many couples) is that they each have very different coping styles when faced with stressful life events. Vince withdraws and ruminates (rather than seeking support from others) and this triggers a fear reaction in Karen who begins to worry that their marriage is in trouble.

Is there a solution to this dilemma?

Become mindful of each other’s coping style

Often a marriage or relationship is damaged not by the stress itself, but by the way in which you and your partner cope with stress. The more information you have about how you both deal with the pressures of life (your typical patterns of coping), the more understanding and empathy you will have for one another during relationship rough patches.

Is your relationship worth protecting?

To discover more relationship tips, visit http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and sign up for Dr. Nicastro’s FREE Relationship Toolbox Newsletter. As a bonus, you will receive two free relationship reports. Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a relationship and intimacy coach.

Article Source: ArticleSpan

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You feel like you are at a crossroads right now with a broken relationship. There are some issues in your marriage that are draining you and your spouse’s happiness. And now you are trying to figure out how to fix a broken relationship without having to beg and plead. But should it be saved? Here are some tips you can do today on how you can save this precious marriage.

Fixing A Broken Relationship Tips

First, you must look into your relationship and decide whether it is worth saving. While almost every marriage can be saved with determination and commitment from both parties, they must also believe that they can make it work again. Because if your spouse doesn’t want to work with you then there is little thing that can be done.

Staying in a relationship for convenience or sticking to a marriage because of the children is not enough to save a relationship. Both parties should start with a commitment that their marriage is still worth saving.

Another step you should take is try to find out the main reason or reasons why you are having trouble in your relationship. People believe that the tell tale signs of a problem existing is the problem itself. Having this line of thinking makes it the biggest problem in saving a marriage or any relationship.

In some situations, many people think that another relationship or third party caused the relationship to end. But the truth is the affair is just an indicator of a deeper problem. Moreover, a lack of true intimacy and understanding between a couple would lead to an unfaithful partner.

If you start to learn and begin to look into the core issues that affects your marriage rather that the signs that it is falling apart, then you will have a greater chance of preserving your relationship.

Once you have identified the main reason why happiness is draining out, one of the most important steps in fixing any relationship is communication. Share your thoughts and point view together. Both of you should tell each other about how you feel and accept each other’s concerns.

While you are talking with your partner, do not be afraid to show physically show your love by holding his or her hand. This will tell your spouse that you really want to get reconnected with them again in mind and in heart.

In addition be prepared for what you may hear, somehow there is a possibility that your partner would talk about things that may hurt you, just keep in mind that your spouse doesn’t mean to hurt your emotions. Rather you are both taking steps to improve your relationship.

By the time you have determined the conflicts and errors in your relationship initiate for an action plan or method to fix and solve it. This is the most important step. Taking action is what will save your marriage.

Make firm actions and resolutions on your plan. You don’t have to do something big immediately. Take small steps like plan a date night every week if you are not being together like you where before. Plan and be creative on how you can make your time together more romantic, unique and unforgettable. If communication is not a problem, just spend even 20 minutes before sleeping so you can talk about each other. And, then do it.

These are just simple ways you can do now to save your marriage but these same methods have been proven to successfully reconnect marriages. It is important that you understand saving your marriage is a continuing process. It is part of every relationship that you will experience both sad and happy moments.

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Getting help for a marriage in crisis. A marriage in crisis is difficult to handle as it seems that what was once full of life is now in trouble and at the point of ending. When you are dating, love seems to have a life all it’s own. Everything being so new feels like a new life has begun. The both of you have begun a happy and new life together.

When you get married, it seems like everything just falls into place and everything just falls in to place. When times get tough and the marriage begins to have a few problems it can seem like the new life is starting to get old and may slip away. If you aren’t ready for your life together to slip away, then getting help for a marriage in crisis is what you need to get, and fast before it is to late.

1.) Get Relationship Advice, the most overlooked strategy for a marriage in crisis is getting relationship advice. Marriage advice will go a long ways towards helping you not only find solution to your problems but will help the both of you find ways to get closer together. Relationship advice will help you be better able to understand each others point of view.

Relationship advice will also help you find better ways to talk to each other in a way that you don’t come across as blaming each other. It could be that one of you has some serious issues that is putting your love and relationship at crisis. For those issues you may want to get therapy on your own. It may be hard to do because you will have to swallow your pride but if you are serious about saving the marriage in crisis, you will want and need to do this.

2.) Getting help for a marriage in crisis, one of the most important things that needs to be done is to get some perspective on what is really going on. This is one area that a relationship advisor will be helpful because it will help you to look at things and situations from another perspective.

From where you are standing things may look clear. However, once you are able to see from another view, things that you couldn’t understand before may come to light. Getting perspectives from other points of view will really be helpful for you to fully understand what is happening so that you can then save the marriage in crisis.

3.) When you have been able to get some perspective on the crisis at hand and are getting relationship advice, you will have a lot of information and ideas to work on. They will help repair the damage that is done if you act on it. If you see a drowning person and you not only know how to swim but are trained in first aid, you may know everything you need to know to help save that person’s life. Will that knowledge save them? Only if it is acted upon.

The same thing is true with your marriage. It just takes you acting upon it and getting resolved the issues that were hurting your marriage. A marriage in crisis can only be saved if you act to make things better. It is hard to find that special person. When you do find them you need to hang on tight through the good and the not so good. You need to come together and not break up. Why break up when you can make up? Remember too, making up can be a lot of fun!

Whatever may happen next in your life, you will always sense that it was a tragedy that you never made a complete effort to get back together. For more help you can look into one of the Best Relationship Advice Systems that is available, at http://www.dontbreakupmakeup.com/It will take you by the hand and show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your ex love back in your arms, Especially if you are the only one trying. If you want to save your relationship, then you can start working toward the relationship you once had, or always wanted.

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Many people are looked at as dreamers or called romantic souls. Some people look down on them and say they live with their heads in the clouds. But I say they are the luckiest people alive, because they take time to smell the roses and see the beauty in life. They ignore the ugliness of the world and mankind and keep a positive and optimistic view of life. I say bring on the dreamers and romantics and make a better world for everyone.

Just as dreamers and romantics can make a better and happier world, so can being romantic make a better and happier marriage. Without romance a relationship can be dull and uninteresting, but with romance it will sparkle and remain new forever. So how do you keep the romance in your marriage? By doing little things that have a lot of meanig.

How often during 24 hours do you and your spouse say I love you. If you are like most married couples you should count the times and double or triple the amount. If you say I love you to your spouse at every opportunity, you will have nothing to regret in the future.

Do you share laughs together and have your own little secret jokes or happenings that just a look at each other will provoke a smile. These private jokes or things can have a romantic effect, and they are special because they belong to just the two of you.

Kissing. When you and your spouse first started dating, did you wonder if he would ever get up nerve enough to kiss you, and how thrilled you were when he did? I hope it’s not the same today. A kiss is meant to seal your love and your love should be sealed by kissing as many times a day as possible.

Other great romance builders are sharing and communication. Sharing the parts of your life that are lived away from your spouse and being open in your communications of the good, the bad and the ugly that happens during that time helps to have a binding effect, because your spouse won’t feel left out of that part of your life. So, keep the romance alive and keep the marriage a happy one.

Just because you have been married for some time and grown familiar with each other is no reason to let the romance die in your relationship. Romance is what begins nearly every loving relationship and it should be maintained throughout the relationship.

You don’t need to take moonlight cruises or sit on a park bench and neck. There are many small things that can be done just in the course of daily living to keep the romantic feeling alive in your marriage.

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Special Tips For Women

You have just heard your spouse utter the words you have been dreading to hear – ‘I want a divorce’. Although you had an idea those words were coming that doesn’t make them any easier to hear. When you first saw trouble start to brew in your marriage relationship you should have acted to head it off, but you didn’t know what to do. But, take heart, it’s not too late to put into motion some special techniques to save your marriage.

When one spouse wants a divorce it is likely they are feeling unfulfilled in the relationship. This feeling in turn leads to complaining and fault finding. Because of the fault finding the other spouse feels they must defend their self and a big argument ensues. This leads to each of them claming up and the hurt feelings start to build up. When this pattern continues for some time one of the partners in the marriage feels they have had enough and states they want a divorce. When you look at the situation from this angle it seems like rather childish actions on the part of two adults. Yet this scenario is being played out countless times in countless marriages everyday.

How easily all this could be avoided if we just set aside our egos and pride. When your spouse is angry or complaining about something, stop and look at them. Realize how much you love them and that everyone becomes ill tempered and frustrated at times. Hold your tongue and don’t lash back. Turning a complaint or frustration into a big blowup sure won’t help keep harmony in the marriage.

By holding your tongue you are letting your mate get it off their chest and when they cool down they will see how foolish they were to hurt the one they love and apologize.

But, if things have gotten to the point that they want a divorce, use the same tactic and don’t argue or get emotional. Instead agree with them and offer a trial separation for both of you to think things over. You could even agree to help with their packing and move. This puts things in another perspective for your spouse, now they are wondering if you had this in mind all along and see you as stronger than they thought.

When divorce rears it’s ugly head, many times love has nothing to do with it. Both of you may still have feeling for each other but things have gone so far off course and you seem so incompatible there is no other choice. But there are other choices if you want to save your marriage. There are tactics that work everyday for many others and they will work for you.

In order to save your marriage and avoid divorce you will need to use some special techniques that will end the hurt feelings and depression that has been caused by constant arguments and fault finding. You can use these special techniques to bring the life and fire back into your marriage now.

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