The story of a man who fell in love with his friend’s younger sister and their relationship was disapproved by his friend and her parent because of his physical stature. Like Us On FB: facebook.com

by marsmet541

I Need Some Successful Strategies to Make My Husband Love Me Again: Here’s Some Strategies That Actually Work

I often write about strengthening your marriage, returning a marriage to an intimate place, and preventing divorce.  Recently, I received an email from a woman who asked me if I would share with her “how to make my husband love me again.”  Well, this is somewhat of a loaded question, but I after chatting with her for a bit, I was able to determine that she really wanted a few different things:She wanted to restore intimacy and closeness in her marriage. She wanted to feel that her husband understood, cherished, and appreciated her. And, she wanted to feel desired, loved, and wanted by her husband again.

She confided that she had not felt these things coming from her husband in a long while and this contributed to distance and arguments. She said she felt that she and her husband were so far apart from one another that she was scared a divorce or separation was on the horizon. So, for her, and for everyone in the same situation, this article will discuss ways to encourage behavior that will contribute to your husband loving you again (although he probably loves you now, but the situation is keeping this from coming out – which I’ll discuss later).

First, I’d like for you to understand that it’s very likely that your husband does still love you. Although “falling out of love” is a phrase that is often used for a stale marriage, often what it really means is that he has “fallen out of love” with the state of the marriage. When a husband pulls away from you, emotionally checks out or detaches himself from the marriage, or gives you vague statements like “I’m just not happy,” “I just don’t feel close to you anymore,” “I just don’t feel like I used to,” etc., he is telling you the truth as he knows it.

But, men are not very good at accurately interpreting and then communing what they are feeling. Often times, what they are REALLY feeling and what they REALLY mean is that the relationship is no longer eliciting positive feeling about themselves – yes, themselves (That’s not a typo).

Think for a minute about when you first met your husband – back to when you were both trying to impress and grow closer to the other.  You both likely out your best foot forward and deeply cared about the experience each person had when you were together.You probably put a great deal of thought and effort into ways to make him feel and understand how much his well being and positive feelings mattered to you (and I’ll bet he did the same (as much as he was capable) for you). I’ll bet you both listened intently when the other talked.  And maybe left notes or gifts for one another. And probably initiated intimate and loving gestures and glances that left no doubt as to how you felt. 

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The results were likely a strong relationship in which both partners felt wanted, desired, understood, attractive, interesting, and competent.  These are the things that make a man feel that he is on top of the world and contribute to his “falling in love.” So, understand that when he says (or you think) your husband doesn’t love you anymore – that’s often not right or inaccurate.  Often, he’s instead mourning the loss of the relationship that made him feel so very good about himself and he doesn’t know how to get that back.

So, knowing this, what can you do now?First, I need to describe how so many women react when they are trying to “make” their husbands love them again. Usually, one of two things are going to happen. In one scenario, the wife will go on the defensive.  In not so many words (and sometimes through her actions) she will be communicating something like: “what’s wrong with you?;” or  ”how could you do this to me?;” or “do you know how this makes me feel?;” or “is this how you treat your children’s mother?”  

In essence, she is trying to strong arm, guilt, or convince her husband that he is wrong and just needs to straighten up and fly right.  And, she could well be right. But, do you know what the husband is thinking and hearing?He’s hearing that his wife does not care enough to listen to what he is really saying. He thinks his wife is really saying his feelings don’t matter or his concerns aren’t valid. And, as a result, he’s going to distance himself (and close himself off from you) that much more.

The other extreme to this behavior is a wife who will try to “prove” to her husband that he should still love her or she will try to overcompensate. She’ll become a “yes” woman – bowing to her husband’s every whim and acting in such a compromising way that she may secretly resent the fact that she thinks she’s doing all of the work and making all of the concessions. She will think that if she “shows” him just how nice she is and how much she loves him, he will come to his senses. But, this tactic is flawed too.  Because your husband will know that you’re playing games and he will not respect your willingness to compromise your own wants, feelings, and needs.  How attractive is someone who is not genuine or true to themselves? Not very.

So what is the best way to approach this? First, you lay it out on the table.  You tell your husband that you are feeling a distance in your marriage and you miss the closeness and intimacy that you both once enjoyed.  Ask him directly if he would be receptive to improving your marriage.  Many men will balk at this because all they are hearing is the word “work.” That’s perfectly OK.  All you’re trying to do here is to communicate to your husband that you personally would like to make some positive changes.

And, you are going to show them, (with your actions) that you’re not really talking about work.  You’re talking about changes that he is probably going to like.The bottom line is this.  Define what you are missing in your relationship. If you want more affection from your husband, show more GENUINE affection to him (no game playing here or putting on a show.)If you want more appreciation, let him know you appreciate him.

Now, you may be reading this and thinking that you are the one who’s going to be making all of the changes and doing all of the work.  But, understand that you’re likely going to be rewarded for your efforts ten fold.Because if you can restore the positive feelings that your relationship once elicited in your husband about himself, he is going to return all of the love you feel you are missing. A wife who can make her husband feel respected, understood, and desirable is probably going to be a wife who gets all of these things back.

At this point, many wives will tell me that they are receptive to these techniques, but they think the marriage is too far gone to try them. I often hear things like “my husband won’t even notice,” or “my husband is just going to look at me funny,” or “my husband won’t even let me near him.” Well, that might be true at first, but you can’t give up.  If you are genuinely and convincingly giving him what you know he ultimately wants, I suspect that in time he will return the favor.

How did I learn this? Through making a lot of mistakes (which almost cost me my marriage) when I was trying to make my own husband fall back in love with me. Eventually, I was able to restore my husband’s love and not only save the marriage, but make it stronger. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com

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Here is the full version of my cover of Jealous Guy by John Lennon. This song was recorded last year as an end of season gift to Dan Schneider, the amazing writer/producer of Victorious. We both share a strong love for this song. If you’d like to read more about this cover click here: www.thedailybeast.com Hope you enjoy my version of this Lennon classic. Special thanks to Michael Corcoran and Chris Abraham for making this song possible. Photo cred: Lisa Rose
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by stelladanza’s confections

I Want And Need For My Husband To Love Me Again: Tips And Strategies For Wives Whose Husbands Claim To No Longer Love Them

Many of the wives who contact me tell me that their husband no longer loves them. Most all of them are looking for a way to change this. I often hear comments like: “I need for him to love me again. What can or should I do?” Or, “I want so much for my husband to love me again, but I’m not sure how to make this happen because he no longer listens to or responds to me.”

Most of these wives suspect that they are fighting an uphill battle. Back when their husband’s were fully invested in the relationship and listening to them, things may have been different. But now that everything’s changed, it’s going to take a very carefully calculated (and executed) plan to regain their husband’s love.

Much of the time, these suspicions are correct because the husband is already resistant to much of what the wife says. He’s learned to tune her out or to question the sincerity of any thing that she says or does (even if the message is an important and sincere one.) This just isn’t fair, but it’s the way that things have become.

The following article is meant for the wives who are sincere in trying to get their husbands to love them again. Below, I’ll offer some tips and insights that I wish I would’ve had when I was trying to get my own husband’s affection back.

Understanding That You Can’t “Make” Someone Love You Again, But You Can Create The Situation That Makes Them Want To: The emails that I receive often ask me for ways to “make” or “get” a husband to love the wife again. And, this is understandable. Because it’s usually clear to the wives that the husband’s feelings are too far gone for them to just return on their own. But, the mistake that they often make is in coming on too strong or allowing for the husband to think that they are going to attempt to change his mind by force or manipulation.

No one wants to believe that they can or will be manipulated, especially when it comes to their own feelings. So, if and when your husband suspects that this is what you are trying to do, it’s a safe bet that he’s going to do everything in his power to keep this from happening. He might limit his access to you. He might just tune you out. Or he might retreat inside himself even further.

These are the things that you absolutely can not afford to let happen. If they do, this just makes the situation that much more difficult to overcome. So, if this has been your strategy, I’d ask you to consider trying something else. I have seen these scenarios play out countless times, and I can tell you that when wives try to “make” their husband’s love them, the husbands usually love them even less as a result. And, even if the wives are able to accomplish their goal, the husband is usually so resentful of the manipulation that the victory is short lived. And, once he eventually pulls back again, he’s even more resistant to your strategies because he’s seen this play out before.

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Knowing That Your Husband’s Claim That He No Longer Loves You Might Not Be Entirely Accurate: Unfortunately, many wives in this position take their husband’s insistence that he no longer loves them at face value. The words are so hurtful and jarring that most people never think to question them or to evaluate them. But, it’s no coincidence that you’ll often hear these words in times of high stress or in the heat of the moment.

And unfortunately, this is the thing that wives focus on the most. Rather than worrying more about improving the relationship so that the loving feelings just naturally come out of it, the wives hyper focus on if the husband is starting to love them again and if so, by how much? This short sightedness can really come back to haunt you and came keep you from getting what you want. It also is more likely to contribute to your participating in desperate and negative behaviors that usually turn husband’s off that much more. Sometimes, the wives come on too strong, they over compensate, and they appear clingy or desperate.

The irony is that much of the time, the love is still there, but it’s buried underneath neglect, disappointment, and the increasingly stressful circumstances in which most of us live. Truly understanding this can sometimes mean that you’re willing to try a less desperate and unattractive strategy (which is more likely to work.)

Ways To Encourage Your Husband To Love You Again: If you remember nothing else from what you’ve read here, please remember this. Husbands will generally see the people and things that elicit negative feelings in them as just as negative as their feelings. As the result, they will want to distance themselves from those things. And if you’re showing emotions like fear, desperation, and manipulation, then you’re actually encouraging him to distance himself from you.

But, if instead you focus on the positive emotions like understanding, validation and empathy, then you are setting it up so that your husband will eventually move toward you. If you can make your husband feel understood and validated while also making him believe that his happiness is the most important thing to you, you might be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

Many wives make the grave mistake on focusing on the outcome (getting him to love you again) and not focusing enough on the process (improving the relationship between you so that he feels those loving emotions once again.) It’s so important to understand what your husband wants and then to provide it. Often when I tell wives this, they get frustrated and tell me that they aren’t entirely sure what their husband wants.

I can share with you what husband’s in this situation frequently tell me. They often tell me that they feel pressured, unappreciated, unheard, and like a conquest. They often say that the spark is gone because the marriage went cold. What the truly want is the woman and the relationship that made them feel positive emotions.

But, unfortunately, many wives focus on the fear rather than the relationship. So, they will try to overcompensate by laying the emotion on so thick that insincerity is the most logical conclusion. The more your husband suspects that he’s being manipulated, the harder your job becomes.

Always remember that your husband is looking for happiness and peace of mind. He’s ultimately going to go with the situation that he perceives is going to make him happy. That’s why it’s absolutely vital that he believes that this is precisely what you genuinely want for him. Sometimes, you may need to tell him that after thinking about it, you’ve decided that what you really want is for the two of you to be happy, even if this means that you’re happy separately.

Now, we both know that you don’t really want this, but if you can pull this off, you’ll often get more access to and attention from your husband. And once this happens, you want to show him that attentive and light hearted woman that he feel in love with, the one who didn’t make demands or constantly ask questions or apply pressure. He wants to feel at ease if your presence again. So, it’s vital that you place your focus on improving the relationship and understand that, as the result, the loving feelings almost always follow.

I absolutely understand where you are right now. A couple of years ago, my husband flat out told me he didn’t love me anymore. But, eventually, it dawned on me that the tactics I was using to get him to love me again were not working. Luckily, I was able to change course and return the intimacy and affection. You can read a very personal story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/

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by Ian Koh

Falling in Love, Again: Rekindling Romance and Restoring Hope in Your Marriage

Many people talk about “falling” in love as an important condition before marrying.  My question for married couples is, are you “growing” in love?  Growth happens with time and as your love matures.

While many of us may think love is at its peak on the day we get married, we encounter life experiences that were previously unknown and we discover hidden and new things about our spouse that deepen our love for each other.  For example, the role of the mother and father emerge with the birth of a child.  Growing in love means you can overlook the small quirks in your mate.  It also means that you can forgive major and minor offenses and communicate and act in considerate ways.  Growing in love means you get better at doing things you may not really want to do, for the sake of your partner and it means that you demonstrate affection and gratitude frequently.

Many couples experience an initial falling in love, but after several years, can’t quite pinpoint what happened along the way; some feel that some of the love has gone away – the romance has faded, the excitement has dulled.  They wonder if others experience this lessening of passion and conclude that responsibilities have replaced the younger, carefree days.

I have some good news and some bad news.  You can’t return to the magical days of early romance, when everything seemed perfect and surreal, where time stood still.  As blissful and as peaceful as those days seemed, life has brought you to this point, with its many twists and turns, joys and heartaches. The person you are now is hopefully a richer, better version of the old you.  You’ve probably encountered some major and minor challenges in your relationship and you’ve had to develop skills to deal with conflict and overcome hardship.

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What is the good news if you are longing for a more satisfying relationship?  The good news is that if you want to make improvements and you care about your spouse and your marriage, there are plenty of things you can do, beginning TODAY.

Unfortunately, there is not enough space here to list all of the things you can do.  Some changes are very easy and reap immediate results; others take more time and effort.  I invite you to listen to my weekly radio program on www.blogtalkradio.com/marriagecoachlynn.  I’ve had many guest speakers and discussions about this topic during the past few months.

If I had to sum up the most important aspects of restoring your love, they would include: (1) you must have the desire to do so (2) you must care about your partner and your marriage (3) seek out skills and techniques about how to improve through books, people, and / or retreats (4) be patient with yourself and your partner.  If it has taken several years for your marriage to slowly deteriorate, it may take more than just a few weeks to repair and restore your relationship.

Free Lecture:  Falling in Love Again,  February 14, 2011

Lynn M. Griesemer will be presenting a free seminar, “Falling in Love Again:  Rekindling Romance and Restoring Hope in Your Marriage,” at the Chantilly Library Meeting Room on Monday, Feb. 14, 7:00-8:00pm. Chantilly Regional Library is located on 4000 Stringfellow Rd., Chantilly, VA  20151. The public is invited. Door prize – copy of “Reenergize Your Marriage in 21 Days.” Reservations accepted, but not required: lynn@marriagecoachlynn.com.  To view a flyer of this event, visit www.MarriageCoachLynn.com/Feb14Flyer.html.

by babblingdweeb

How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Jealous – Tricks To Get Her Back Fast

Need to know how to make your ex girlfriend jealous in an attempt to make her reconsider breaking up with you? Jealously can work wonders in getting your ex girlfriend back you should approach with caution and is it can quickly destroy your last chance to reunite with her.

Let’s examine 3 of the most common techniques used to learn how to make your ex girlfriend jealous without using guilt or manipulation tactics!

1. Planting The Seed – Agree With The Break Up

If you have be desperately trying to make your ex girlfriend reconsider the break up it’s time to stop immediately. Both men and women love confidence and your ex is no different. It’s time to stand up and man up, tell your ex girlfriend you agree with the break up and that you completely understand and respect her decision. Once your ex hears this she will begin to question your sudden chance of heart. Wondering how to make your ex girlfriend jealous when she is not even talking to you? Then you must put this step in place ASAP!

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2. No Contact Rule – A Rule That Should Never Be Broken

Step 2 is crucial to learn how to make your ex girlfriend jealous super fast! No break up is ever final. In most cases your ex maybe still having second thoughts if she made the right decision leaving you. Don’t make this time any easier on her but being their on the side lines as her emergency.

Break all communication with your ex girlfriend, no calls, no messages and definitely no emails or social networking sites. If she calls you, ignore her calls and messages for the time being. You want her to begin to ask questions as to why you suddenly want nothing to do with her!

3. Turning The Tables – Make Your Ex Girlfriend Feel Like She Was Dumped!

This step is extremely effective but you must be careful not to go over the top! Your aim here is to make your ex girlfriend see the new you. More importantly she will see the person who she fall in love with. Begin to put a smile on your face, spend time with friends and start doing things that you enjoy. Try to embrace this time and enjoy every minute of it.

When your ex hears about your new lease on life, your sudden change in attitude she will begin to question why you suddenly don’t want anything to do with her. She will begin to feel as if she was the one dumped, at this stage you need to remain focused and stick to your guns.

Chances are that any seconds thoughts she is having will be intensified and you can expect her to make contact. Learning how to make your ex girlfriend jealous is only the first step.

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