First of all, sorry for the crappy looks, I was a total mess when I did the video, but… what ever! So, I really need your help for that collab video, so please, send me your videos before the 10th of November. I’ll be back with a proper video soon!!! Love Pablo

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Being apart in a long distance relationship will often result in a lot of stress and anxiety that not only can be avoided but, if approached the right way, can actually “make the heart grow fonder”.

With the advantage of modern technology that includes video connections on computers and telephones, messaging facilities on cell phones and online shopping and delivery, there are many aids to long distance relationships that modern couple can enjoy which were simply unheard of in the days of our not so distant ancestors.

Of special concern to many is the possibility that our partner will be exposed to overwhelming temptations, and even cheat, while they are away from us. If this is a minor concern, frequent contact with messaging, telephone calls and video link will be very helpful in helping to sustain and build a loving relationship. When you view the separation with a sense of calm rather than alarm, there are many tools available to help sustain the relationship.

If you are finding the separation to be especially stressful, it is important to understand that the anxiety being experienced has its origins in perception and arises from the way you look at the world. That is, you are responding to thoughts and expectations that tour partner may be cheating on you or is simply losing interest.

This does not mean that they are behaving badly or that their feelings are cooling. It indicates that you are allowing negative thoughts to evoke negative feelings. Invariably, decisions and choices that we make when we are feeling anxious, angry, resentful, hurt, sad, lonely, and the like, will point us in a direction that is away from what we really want.

For instance, if we are resentful towards an absent partner, we are tempted to be surly, cool, distant, suspicious and critical. Acting in this way towards another stirs resentment in the one on the receiving end of our ire.

Do they feel more loving when being treated this way? More likely they are inclined to retaliate, in turn causing you to feel more resentful!

Notice that what caused us to feel resentment in the first place were our perceptions of the situation. The thoughts we entertained may have been based on little more than our own insecurities and other attitudes and expectations that we hold which shape our perception of the world.

The ideas we accept mold the way we see events and the way we interpret what we see. If we see a rosy picture, we feel joyous and expect a happy outcome. If our view is a gloomy one, our prospects also appear dark and we feel anxious and threatened.

Anxiety in a long distance relationship is something we CAN control and overcome when we understand the way it works and what can be done about it. The flow on benefit is that it helps us in all sorts of ways and not only when we are apart from our loved ones. We also learn how to create an infinitely better world for ourselves and feel more in control of our lives.

Throughout our experience working with long distance relationship couples, we had discovered that there are lots of thing that we must do and as well as refrain from doing in order to survive the relationship.

Below are some of the advices that we have compiled over the years. Although they may look simple but when it comes to the actual execution, it may take more than your effort and discipline. It is your desire to survive the relationship that makes the most impact in writing the outcome of your distance relationship. Consider some of the below do and don’t list and together with your desire, I am pretty sure you are able to conquer your distance relationship with ease and fun.

Do’s

1) Establish an effective communication channel

The very first thing that you must do in a long distance relationship is to establish an effective communication channel. Most people will think that telephone is the most convenient mode of communication but apart from the telephone services, there are some other alternative you can use. Instant messenger, emails, VOIP phone and conventional mails can be very effective if you know how to use them. Each of the communication channels has its own advantages and disadvantages and therefore you must start to explore each of them to enhance your communication experience.

2) Plan to meet each other

There is nothing more important than planning to meet each other again at an interval of time throughout the period of your long distance relationship. This will help both you and your partner to catch up with each other over the things that you cannot do while apart. The anticipation of seeing each other again will always give you the excitement, hope and as well as eliminating the lonely feeling in your LDR.

3) Build hobby that you can both share

By building and keeping a hobby, both of you will have something to discuss and work on throughout your distance relationship. Finding something to do online can be quite interesting judging from its speed and reach ability but never leave out conventional hobby as well because you do not need to have your partner’s physical present to share a hobby.

4) Surprise your partner

Occasionally surprise you partner with cards, gifts, letter and flower out of their expectation apart from your normal correspondence. Put your imagination to use and your partner will be sure to love your effort in keeping them happy. Sending the unexpected gifts to your partner will always spice up your distance relationship regardless how far your partner may be.

5) Capture and share that interesting moment

Throughout the period of your LDR, you can always capture some interesting moment of yours by exchanging photos, video clips and as well as audio recording. This will indirectly keep your partner informed on what has happen in your life despite the physical distance.

Don’ts

1) Settle for a temporary replacement

One of the mistakes that a distance relationship couple often make is to settle for a temporary replacement when their partner is not physical around. By letting a third party into your life, you will not only put your distance relationship to risk but you will also break the mutual trust and agreement that you make. Although it may not be done intentionally but this type of mistake will be very costly to your long distance relationship.

2) Take the relationship lightly

The absence of your partner does not give you the license to dictate and manipulate the relationship. You must remember that, your partner has their own right to participate in any decision making toward the well being of your relationship regardless where there are. A long distance relationship is also as important as a normal relationship and your partner has their own right to be treated fairly.

3) Wait and see attitude

Most of the failures in distance relationship that we observed are contributed by the wait and see attitude of the couples themselves. This was caused by the insecurity of the couple as they do not think that the LDR will work but at the same time they do not want to put a stop to the relationship. Let me tell you this, if you plan to have this kind of attitude, refrain from walking into one at the first place because both you and your partner will suffer in the relationship. In a LDR, both partners must be committed and proactive in bringing the relationship to a higher level.

4) Suspicion

There are no rooms for suspicion in a long distance relationship. In order for you to survive your distance relationship, you must learn to trust your partner whole heartedly. A single suspicion will break the bond you have for each other and it is a beginning of the end if you start to suspect your partner at any point of your LDR. Although it is easier said than done but trust me, if your partner is apt to do something unfaithful to you, they will still do it under your nose. Therefore there is no need for you to create such unnecessary stress in your LDR.

5) Succumb to negative comment on LDR

Couples in distance relationship always make a mistake by believing that LDR do not work. The negative impression you have in LDR will eventually hunt you down and destroy your relationship if you choose to listen to the negative comment. Therefore, once you have decided to enter into a long distance relationship, you must learn to believe that your relationship will work. I knew it because I had successfully conquered my own distance relationship due to the reason that I am not influence by any of the bad comments I received.

Alex Chew is an avid believer of Long Distance Relationship. He has been actively involved in helping distance couples on their journey through his research works and books. He is also the webmaster of http://www.perfect-relationship.com and the author of Manage Your Way to A Perfect Distance Relationship e-book. Copyright © Alex Chew & Perfect-Relationship.com. All right Reserved.

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We continue our series on how to build satisfying interpersonal relationships. Commitment and love are important to all of us. We all want to succeed when dealing with others, whether with coworkers, friends, or loved ones. You know or you should know that there is no success secret, no checklist of things to do, and just as importantly things not to do. But we have many suggestions, now continuing with the letter C. We have written a double series of articles, chock full of suggestions for the letter C.

C is for compromise. This is a big one. Most of us learn at a young age that we can’t have everything that we want. There are other kiddies in the playground and they all want to go down the slide. Especially when you want to. Well these kiddies grow up and they still want what they want; and frankly, sharing their toys is low on their list. (Of course when you get to be big, sharing some toys can be a real pleasure, but that is covered in another set of articles.) The great thing about compromise is that if you are really clever you can often get what you want while making it look like you have given in. However, sometimes this great turn of events is not in the cards. Then you’ll have to give up some of what you want to get something else that you want even more. Such a compromise can be as simple as going to see her movie this week and your movie next week. Or it can be as complicated as an international peace treaty.

C is for care. This can mean being there for someone. Care can also mean that you do what you do carefully; that you pay close attention to detail. Some employers reject candidates whose resumes contain spelling mistakes. According to such employers, these careless clowns show they don’t care enough to access the dictionary. If they can’t get the resume right, how much attention are they going to pay to the marketing materials that just have to get out next Tuesday? Computer tools make it easier to show you care. Remember, if you don’t care associates, friends, and lovers may find someone who does.

C is for character. A person’s character defines him or her. Can it be changed? People, including specialists, differ on this important point. Many feel that someone’s basic character is defined at a fairly young age. But most people’s character can be molded and refined, even in later years. By the way, don’t make it your project to change someone’s basic character, even in a loving way. He or she won’t appreciate you for that. Having said this we know that in successful long-term relationships people’s character tend to soften. It’s a question of compromise. We have completed the circle.

Levi Reiss teaches computer classes in an Ontario French-language community college. He wrote ten computer and Internet books and now builds web sites. Visit his new site celebrating all kinds of love and relationships at http://www.loveamourlove.com . This site includes a great collection of English and French love quotes (with translations) and a wide range of articles on building and repairing love, family, and other relationships.

Article Source: ArticleSpan

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Long Distance Relationship Advice

But sometimes, it just works out that way. Maybe you started out living in the same place and one of you has to move – for a new job, perhaps, or maybe one of you is in the military and you’re shipped out.

Perhaps you met someone marvelous while you were on vacation. Or, as happens so often these days, you met and fell in love on the Internet, but you live 3,000 miles apart.

Maintaining a commitment and keeping the sparks flying when you’re apart is tough, but it’s not impossible. I’ve had a few long distance relationships myself and, to be honest, they weren’t any easier or more difficult than my “in-town” relationships.

The challenges are just different, that’s all. In both cases, you and your partner have to be willing to do the work to make the relationship work. The biggest difference is that long distance relationships work best if you stay grounded in reality and know what you want from the arrangement – and what you’re willing to do to make sure it thrives.

1) Know what you want

The first thing you need to do is have a long talk with your sweetie about what sort if a relationship you have. It might seem like you’re micro-managing your love, but it helps to have all your cards in the table from the start.

Are you going to have a monogamous relationship and stay faithful despite the distance? Will you be “dating,” meaning that you’re free to see other people?

Are you going to just be “friends with benefits” or are you both hoping this will be a relationship that will stand the test of time?

Setting limits and boundaries can be difficult, but knowing what you both expect will do a lot to avoid hurt feelings and miscommunication further down the road.

Honesty is important in any relationship, but even more so when so much of your communication is via e-mail and telephone. You have to be ready to talk about things that aren’t always pleasant – and to hear them. A long distance relationship can turn into a series of sexy phone calls and chatter about inconsequential things far too easily, and you have to be willing to talk about everything, including sex.

Of course, this is another area where you can set limits and boundaries – if your partner is fighting a war overseas and has been gone for a very long time, there may be things that you just can’t handle hearing about.

You’ll also need to be very, very patient. This is one area where I’ve had the most trouble – it’s tough to have patience when you want so badly to be with someone who’s far away! As exciting as a long distance relationship can be, make sure you fill your time with lots of other interesting activities so that you aren’t spending every minute waiting for that next phone call or IM session.

Enjoy your favorite hobbies, see friends, and have a fulfilling life on your own – don’t put your entire life on hold, waiting for the time when the two of you can be together. That’s no way to live, and it also makes you a very boring person.

2) Happy is as happy does

The best way to make a long distance relationship flourish is to be positive and encouraging when talking to your sweetheart. Ask about their job, their work, and their family.

Tell them how proud you are of their accomplishments, and how lucky you feel to know them. It’s all too easy to express jealousy when they’re doing interesting things with other people (which is another reason you should have your own interests) and you may come off as resentful.

If they have special talents and can help you long-distance with things in your life, ask for their help – it’ll help strengthen the bond between you. Share your good news and good moods with them whenever possible, to keep the relationship light and happy. Dwelling on how sad you are that you can’t be together will quickly become a huge downer, and you’ll both start to associate your relationship with angst and unhappiness rather than with love.

It takes a real; commitment to make a long-distance relationship work, but it can be as deep, fulfilling, and long-lasting as you want it to be. You just have to roll up your sleeves and get to work.

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Long Distance Relationship Advice