by See-ming Lee 李思明 SML

Marriage Counseling – How to be the Spiritual Leader in your home

In Christian homes when the husband does not assume his Spiritual Leader role a vacuum forms and often the wife is forced into being the leader. This is uncomfortable for the wife since God did not give her that responsibility. It can create a great deal of resentment in both the wife and also the husband who can interpret this as “control”.

When the wife is forced into filling this role it can often lead to being the leader in many other ways. Now there is real danger of inappropriate balance of control in the home.

In our Marriage Counseling practice we see this situation often. We are presented with couples that are not filling the roles that they were designed to fill. When we speak with the wife who is perceived as controlling by her husband, she often tells us that she would give anything to “get off the throne” and follow her husband, but he just won’t lead.

What can she do? What can he do? The first step is to understand who God has called us to be. God has called the husband to be the “servant leader” in the home, even going so far as to lay down his life for his wife and family as Christ laid down His life for the Church. We see many husbands who would step in front of a bus for their wives but neglect to protect their wives in the day to day business of life.

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There may be a number of reasons why he is not “stepping up to the plate” as leader. Oftentimes we see passive men marry more outgoing and active women. The man’s passivity becomes a serious problem in these relationships. He stays in his comfort zone, not realizing or caring what this is doing to the relationship. In this case, it is important for the wife to step aside and not lead; even if things fall through the cracks. The husband cannot fill a role that is already filled. He cannot lead if she is leading. It may seem very scary, but it is absolutely necessary to let him fill the role.

It may also be that she has always felt like she is the one who should be in control, thinking her husband as incapable of leading. It is particularly important for her to turn over the reins to her husband.

Sometimes it has nothing at all to do with the wife. Some men are just so passive that it would never dawn on them to be the leader. In this case it may require counseling from your Pastor or Marriage Counseling from a Christian Marriage Counselor.

So, what should the husband do? After realizing and understanding that this is his God given role, he will need to confront the fear of operating in the unknown. His job is to make sure that he understands who is in Christ. There are many good books written on this subject. God gives us the Grace to do what He calls us to do, so the husband is able to lead.

There are practical things that a Spiritual Leader does. He makes sure that he has his own personal time with God on a daily basis. That he “talks” with God on a regular basis. This includes more than just speaking to God (what we normally call praying) but listening as well. He himself needs to be strengthened before he can successfully lead others.

He is responsible for making sure he and his wife spend joint time with God. This can include Bible Study, prayer, attending a Church that fulfills both of them and making sure the whole family is included if there are children in the home.

He is also responsible for protecting the home from any outside bad influences or spiritual attacks.

He can also see that he and his wife become active in a small group at their Church. This will help surround the couple with fellow believers who are like minded and are there for each other.

This may seem like a big job, but God never gives us a job too big for us to handle.

We pray that your marriage fulfills God’s calling and that both you and your Spouse search out what God has in store for you. If you both are close to God, you will be close to each other.

by suanie

How to solve r4i gold game cheat and game save problems?

How to operate the game cheat on DS console kinda problem to newbie who is just trying to get fun but failed.With R4i gold card,

you can remove this kind of problem out of your worries.Now let’s see more details on how to operate game ,install game cheat and game save method.as below,

Game Menu Operation

- Choose the ‘Game’ to enter Game GUI; Press ‘START’ to go back to main menu.

-Press the ‘SELECT’ key to select the display mode in game interface (“File Display” and “Game Display” , Default is “Game Display”), “N files” and “N game” display at top bar on the top screen.

-Please be aware that the “SHELL,MOONSHL,_SYSTEM_”directory and the “_DS_MSHL.NDS “file will be hidden under the “Show Games Only” mode; Any other directories or files with hidden attributes will also be hidden.

- You can choose the display model (“Display all” and “Only Display Game”, default is “Only Display Game”) by pressing “SELECT”, and the top screen will display “N file” and “N Game”.

Please be aware that the “SHELL,MOONSHL,_SYSTEM_”directory and the “_DS_MSHL.NDS “file will be hidden under the “Show Games Only” mode; Any other directories or files with hidden attributes will also be hidden.

4-scale-lightness adjustment is available to the D Lite console by touching the sunny icon at the top left corner of game interface. (Not available to D console, the sunny icon will turn to be gray if it is D console.)

At the right top of the touch screen it is the “Soft Reset”; Red indicator means the “Soft Reset” function is off; Green indicator means the “Soft Reset” function is on. The users may point on the touch screen or press “R” button to switch the “Soft Reset” On/Off.

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While the “Soft Reset” function is on, pressing “L+R+A+B+X+Y” can go back and forth to the game’s main menu; Please do not do this while saving, as it will lead to malfunction, It is recommended to go back to main menu before you function the “Soft Reset”.

If the error occurs on running games, please try to turn off the “Soft Reset”.

- The top screen displays the files under the directory, ‘Up/Down’ key for rolling, ‘Left/Right’ key for flipping. The current path and amount of the total files will show on the top, the scroll bar will show the location of the current file.

- The files under the directory will be sorted by file name, the directory (DIR) will display at the front. The (..) is the parent directory.
– The bottom screen display the details of the files and directory, the icon and title will be displayed if it is D/ID game.
– Press ‘A’ button or touch screen to enter the corresponding functions or run the game, press “B” button to go back

Running Game

- Choose the game you like in the game menu; Press ‘A’ button or touch screen to run.

- You can check the modified time of the archive, as it will be edited automatically while running the game.

- The file name of the archive is the same with the games, the extension is .SAV, can be backup or restored from PC at anytime.

SAV backup copy, restorationc

The archived file master file name with game same, expansion named .SAV
1. May momentarily restores the backup to the computer or from the computer.
2. Chooses the display mode according to SELECT, the choice thought completely the backup the .sav document, presses a key backup, the backup puts on file expansion named .bak. When needs to restore, the choice correspondence’s .bak duplicate file, presses a key confirmation restoration.

Operation of Auction Replay Cheat

Choose the corresponding game, if the official database (cheat.dat files under the _system_ folder) or the user database (usrcheat.dat files under the _system_ folder) contains the Auction Replay Cheat, the below screen will show the “Auction Replay Cheat (Y)” button, press the Y key or that button to enter the set up interface of cheat.

If the two databases will contain an action replay cheat to the same game, there will be two “action replay cheat” buttons. The official database is on the left, the user database is on the right.

On the top line of the above screen shows the game name, the top line of the below screen shows how many cheat code currently be selected and the total amount of the cheat codes can be selected, the bottom line of the below screen shows the version and created date of the current cheat database.

The function of the six buttons on the below screen is described separately as below:

“select all” press this button to select all the cheat code under the cheat opened circumstance.

“delete all” press this button to delete all the selected cheat code under the cheat opened circumstance.

“game open/close” press this button to control the cheat switch of this game, the left frame will show the current status.

“cheat open/close” press this button to control the entire cheat function switch, the right frame will show the current status.

“preserve and exit” press this button to preserve the current modification, and exit, the same function as well as press the START button.

“discards and exit” press this button to not preserve the current modification, and exit, the same function as well as press the SELECT button.

Under the cheat opened circumstance, use up and down arrow to choose each cheat code one by one; if it’s the cheat folder, press A to unfold/fold the directory.

Under the cheat-opened circumstance, use left and right arrow can go across 10 cheat codes.If do not need the cheat function, delete the cheat.dat files under the _system_ folder.

When the two databases will contain an action replay cheat to the same game, users can open the action replay cheat in the database to by their needs and another one would be close (close action replay cheat by turning master switch off, closing games or do not choose any action replay cheat), kernel will automatically choose the use of opened action reply cheat (Cheats in two databases opened to one game at the same time, then it will use the one in official database).

Before running game, under circumstance that a cheat has already been opened, in the process of running the game cheat can be temporarily closed by L+R+START+DOWN, you may press L+R+START+UP to open cheat.It is not to hard ,right?What are you waiting for ?Just go for fun now.

source:www.ishopvideogame.com

by gopal1035

Question by tangerine: Why do some believe that legalizing gay marriage would lead to marriage to animals and relatives?
After all, gay marriage would take place between two consenting adults, and a dog, cat, or horse would never be able to give its consent. Also, there are laws on the books against marrying relatives, thanks to concerns about inbreeding. Unlike incest, at least gay marriage wouldn’t lead to birth defects!

Best answer:

Answer by Derek
It’s a cop out answer. It’s a way to come out against gay marriage without being called a homophobe. It’s a coward’s answer.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

by Brisbane Falling

Why Making Your Ex Jealous Can Backfire and Ruin Your Chances to Get Back Together With Your Ex

Making your ex jealous might seem like the logical thing to do right now to make them feel the pain that you have gone through after your break up but you must exercise caution. Although you may feel as if you want nothing more than to win your ex back, you must be extremely careful how you make use of the jealously tactic.

Break ups are rarely final, how many couples do you know that have broken up, only to get back together and be happier than ever? Break ups can be a shattering warning call from your ex that your relationship must change immediately if it has any chance to survive, making your ex jealous can kill your chances fast! Keep this in mind.

Making your ex jealous can spark feelings inside your ex as they see and hear about you with other people, whether this is friendly conversation or apparent dates with the opposite sex, making your ex jealous can backfire fast.

If your goal is to win your ex back you must avoid this approach, although it can be very effective the odds are that your ex will be mad seeing you with other people so early after your break up and only confirm in their mind they made the right decision leaving you. Making your ex jealous is simply too risky!

The most effective method to make your ex rethink your break up is to accept the break up and understand what lead to the break down of your relationship. Simply asking your ex to take you back or making empty promises that thing will be “different this time” will do little to make your ex want to take you back.

Be mature, keep a level head, but more importantly understand that manipulation, using guilt or other shady tactics may work but will do more harm than good in the long run. Have a mature conversation with your ex, tell them what you would change and why, get them to open up and be honest, this is where reuniting can commence.

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How to Treat Your Husband Like a Man

Are you treating your husband like a man or like a little boy? The best way to treat your man like a man is by respecting who he is and his God-given position in the marriage. If you treat him as if he were one of the kids he will feel disrespected. No man wants to be married to his mother, but that’s what it feels like when a wife constantly nags, complains, or demands things of her husband for one reason or another.

You see I used to do this with my husband. I was a needy, demanding, bossy, and controlling wife. I expected things from my husband because I was not happy with myself. Unhappy wives and husbands become needy and spongy with each other when they feel they are in lack of something or when they fear something. Only Our Creator can fill the lack within us. We must ask Him into our lives and allow Him to lead us.

A big part of the problem is that some men give their wives good reason to treat them like little boys. If you don’t assert your position as that of ‘being the man of the home” your wife will automatically take up your position in the marriage as if it is her position. A man likes to be the king in his home, but if the wife is already acting as if she is the king where does that leave the husband? The queen? I hope not.

…For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the savior. Ephesians 5:22-23

Why do some husbands have affairs? Is the grass really greener on the other side of the fence? A real man doesn’t want to be scolded like a child. He doesn’t want to be rejected and he doesn’t want to be bossed around and told what to do. He wants to be treated like a man. If a husband is not being respected at home the chances of him having an affair, emotional or physical are more prevalent. I’m not condoning affairs because they are wrong? How a wife treats her husband doesn’t justify a husband having an affair.

Did you know that God created the man with the spiritual and physical ability to protect his family? It’s instinctive for the man to be a protector, overseer, and captain”. But if wives aren’t allowing their husbands to take care of them, because they think that they can take care of themselves then essentially you are disrespecting him and his position as the man of the marriage. Spiritually speaking, husbands have been given the authority by God to lead the home with loving influence and guidance.

Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22

If you are having a difficult time submitting to your husband, it is because you have not submitted your life to God. Before a woman can actually understand the logistics of submission she must submit her own life to the Lord. Understand that God did not make the man better than the woman in any way, only different. Let’s take a look.

For example, if you were being robbed, who would grab the gun and protect the family, you or your husband? Would it seem odd to you if your husband said for you to get the gun while he hides in the closet? It would. In fact your husband would probably tell you to go in the room with the children and protect (nurture) them, while he confronts the robber. It is totally instinctive for the man to grab the gun, while the women waits in the shadows with her kids. No man in his right mind is going to make his wife protect him.

This is just one way in which God created the sexes different. So, my point is, why in an emergency is it okay for the man to be a man, but when it is during regular home life, with no emergency, the wife bosses and controls her husband around like he is a child? Where is the respect in that?

Let’s take a look at another scenario. A wife leaves her children, husband, and duties of the home everyday to work under another man, her employer. Pretty soon co-workers begin making flirtatious advances at her. Every day men at her work are making her feel good about herself. Her husband is not making her feel good about herself, in fact the marriage is strained from her being tired and overworked. If this woman is vulnerable or not really committed to her marriage what do you think is going to happen? That’s right, she’s going to have an affair.

I have to ask this. Why is she not home under her husband’s guidance and protection? How can a man protect his wife when she is leading her own life outside the bounds of the marriage? Wives working out of the home, whether they work for women or men is a major reason for marital breakups, especially when husband and wife have no moral standards or codes established for the marriage. Neither one of them is taking their God given positions in the marriage seriously.

The feminist movement and the ways of society has created some confused women to treat their husbands with disrespect-its an attitude that is fostered through encouraging women to be all that they can be, without the aid of a man. And that’s fine, but if she is married is it still fine? How can you treat your husband like the man of the home when you are already behaving as if you are the man?

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3

Angie Lewis is the author of six self-help inspirational books offering marriage tips and wisdom filled answers. Angie tackles such issues as addiction, adultery, pornography, emotions, beliefs, forgiveness, communication and even your health! If your marriage and your health are important to you, then you must check out Angie’s books. To preview these books go here: http://www.lulu.com/AngieLewis/

Marriage Resources – http://www.heavenministries.com/

Relationship Advice for Women

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Marriage problems can creep into any marriage. These problems must be dealt with quickly otherwise they will poison your relationship. As there are some problems which can be very disastrous to a marriage it is best to make sure that such problems are uprooted quickly.

Some of the marriage problems which are found in a marriage can be a couple’s incompatibility. At other times infidelity is a prime example of martial disasters. These are problems which need to be handled with care. Otherwise the entire marriage can crumble into an acrimonious divorce. In the case of incompatibility the couple may need to find some common interests.

They can also try to find how their differences can complement their marriage. When these alternatives don’t work they can seek to end their relationship. If they have tried many solutions but remain good friends the parting of the couple can be amicable. Otherwise the divorce can become very messy.

With marriage problems like infidelity the matter needs to be answered quite differently. This is due to the nature of each partner. There are some couples who might have decided that marital infidelity can be forgiven once. The second time around a divorce is the only solution. At these instances the reason for the infidelity may need to be found.

If there is no hope for the marriage problems that have resulted from infidelity to be resolved a painless divorce could be the saving of the couple. These are some of the common marriage problems. There are however more serious marriage problems that necessitates the need for divorce.

These problems involve spousal abuse. The abuse that results from a disastrous marriage like this, can lead to the victim being scared for their life and other family members. This abuse will also contribute towards the spouse having an unbalanced view of life. For these simple yet complex reasons the only hope for the victim of spousal abuse is the quick ending of the relationship

When a couple encounters marriage problems they have many options open to them. Based on these options the couple’s marriage will either last or break up. To make sure –no matter what conclusion is reached – that the marriage does not turn ugly, the partners of the marriage will need to seek help from a trained marriage counselor. This individual can help mediate the differences that are found between the couple.

This mediation is the key to a couple being able to live a happy life. Even if they are no longer a couple. With the help of marriage counselors marriage problems can be reduced to their proper proportions. Life can then begin anew.

Most if not all relationships go through rough patches every once in a while that can ultimately lead to a breakup. While it is true that this is a common situation in every relationship especially serious and long ones, you should also be ready on how to handle these troubles and further avoid more problems in the future.

If at first you feel like you do not really see anything wrong with your constant bickering and shouting matches, think again. If this is how you talk to each other often, then you must stop and think about how to deal with this problem. Making up may be sweet and exciting at first, but if you seem to keep on fighting all the time, one or both parties may just stop trying to make up anymore.

There are also instances where we tend to take our partners for granted, albeit unintentionally. It is impossible to spend all your time with your partner, but you also need to spend more quality time with your spouse even if you feel that everything else at work or at home is taking up more of your time.

Ignoring your better half can lead to more serious problems, you cannot blame your partner if he is spending more time with friends or office mates while you tend to your personal affairs. And there can be circumstances when he/she gets to meet someone else who can shower them with more attention and thus move on to a new relationship.

However, the final scene where you find your relationship on the brink of breaking up can still be avoided. You will just need to realize it and decide on the next step to do to save your relationship. Communication is always the key to a successful relationship, and as your relationship grows and lasts longer, it is very hard to cope with each other because sometimes we think that our partners will stay with us forever.

This is a common misconception. Like everything that grows, relationships need constant nurturing. And what better way to nurture yours than to keep in constant communication with your better half. It is important that as soon as you smell trouble brewing, you do not wait for it to go away but deal with it as soon as you can. Start with asking your partner out on a dinner date to spend more quality time with each other.

You can then slowly inquire about your partner’s concerns without accusing or blaming him/her. Talking about the solution is always better than dealing with the trouble when everything gets out of hand, and you may not be able to salvage what is left of your relationship if you wait a little longer.

How you deal with the break up in the early stages is very critical if you want to get your ex back. The opening move can be the most important to get back your ex, as explained in this Free Video, from the man that has helped over 50,000 people In 77 countries at: http://www.BreakupAdviceHelp.com

Article Source: ArticleSpan

Easily the best way to gain more Love and Harmony in your relationships is to know this life-changing material.

Read the information on this page before it’s too late:

Gain More Love and Harmony – Now!

Every girl has their own character, personality and quality. All you have to do is to be yourself. Remember when a guy likes you; he likes you as a whole. Different guys are attracted to different kind of girls but what matter the most is the attitude and character.

So, from this article you will get to know what a guy really want in a girl.

Sweet and adorable

Guys are easily attracted to sweet and adorable girls. Don’t try to create problem and be in a mood whenever you are with him. Make him feel that you are someone he needs whenever he is happy or sad. Even if you can’t help him directly, try to give him the moral support that he needs. Thus, he will feel that you are someone important in his life.

Be honest

Honesty is very important especially in a relationship. Guys hate girls who like to pretend or lie. For example, you lied to him saying that you have a gathering with your old schoolmates but instead you met with a male friend so as not make him suspicious. If he finds out that you are actually lying to him, he will get very angry and things will become worse than before. A lie will always lead to another lie. Just tell him the truth that it is just a simple meet up and he will understand. Remember, honesty is what a guy wants in a girl.

Friendly

Guys are attracted to cheerful and friendly type of girls because this will make the relationship more enjoyable. At the same time, he will feel more comfortable with you. Stop acting like a domineering and boastful person. This will only make him lose interest in you or get annoyed with your attitude.

Sometimes, if he brings you out to meet his friends, try to be friendly and entertain them. Be sociable and friendly. You can always join in the conversation or even make intermittent jokes. This will make him feel proud and happy to have a cheerful, friendly and adorable girl.

Confident

As a girl, you must believe in yourself and be confident in everything you do. Make good judgments and be smart in your evaluation of others. Guys are attracted to girls who are confident and not too dependent on others. In times, he might need your suggestions or opinions in some matters.

Good cooking skill

Apart from all the above-mentioned personalities and qualities a girl must possess, good cooking skill can be another criterion to attract guys. You can always buy a recipe book from the bookstores or magazine shops to improve on your cooking skill. When you are reasonably good in cooking, you can try to create your own recipes as well. Most of the guys love home-cook food. Home-cook food is more delicious and less oily as compared to outside food – even though it is just a simple dish. Thus, girls who know how to cook well are the type of girls who are most attractive to guys.

After knowing all these criteria, reflect back and appraise yourself. Don’t worry if you don’t have some of the qualities mentioned above. There are ample time and opportunity for you to change and improve yourself into becoming a better person. It is better to be late than never.

Finally, Did you know that so many women make their own lives and relationships harder than they need to be by not learning the basic foundations of how men view love, connection, attraction and relationships?

If you want to start getting better outcomes and results when it comes to men, and you want to be able to communicate with a man in a way that brings him closer.

Then you’re going to have START doing what it is that makes a man FEEL ATTRACTED and MORE INTERESTED in you. It means that you need to Learn Secrets That Most Women Will Never Know About Meeting And Keeping Great Men!

Make this the year you finally know what it’s like to have a fun, loving and secure relationship by discovering how to find the right man and make love last. Click Here Now to learn the SECRET PSYCHOLOGY TO GETTING A MAN OF YOUR DREAMS!

Easily the best way to gain more Love and Harmony in your relationships is to know this life-changing material.

Read the information on this page before it’s too late:

Gain More Love and Harmony – Now!