It’s a very common concern for women of all ages: How To Talk To Men With Confidence. This article pays special attention to younger men but the principles are just as applicable to those who are more mature. The points raised have special relevance to those who are dating but can also benefit those who are in ongoing relationships.
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How To Talk To Men and Boys With Confidence

When it comes to relating to the opposite sex, not everyone is born with confidence or conversational adeptness. Fortunately, with practice and the following tried and tested tricks anyone can develop these skills.

Work out what you want

Have in mind the goal of your conversation before it starts. Do you want to let him know that you’re interested in him? Do you just want to catch up and have a laugh? Identify the goal and set a strategy for how you’ll achieve it.

One good way to break the ice with a guy (if you’re confident enough) is to be totally honest with him and tell him what your agenda is. For example, if you’re talking to a guy who you have a crush on and you really want to discover whether he’s single, you could say something like, “When I walked over here, I promised myself I wouldn’t leave until I found out if you had a girlfriend or not!”

Or if you’re on a date with a guy you’ve just started seeing and your goal is to be less shy, say something along the lines of, “I was thinking that I’ve been pretty quiet on our other dates. Today I decided I want to let you know what I’m like.” Setting a strategy helps to keep a potentially unnerving situation in perspective.

Be your fabulous self

Be the individual you are, not a clone of him. There is nothing more annoying for a boy than when a girl goes along with everything he says. Don’t be afraid to express likes and dislikes or to share opinions. For example, if a boy asks what you’d like to eat or what movie you’d like to see, do not automatically respond, “I don’t mind” or “Whatever you want”.

And give him an honest response. If you really don’t have any preference then it is okay to say so. Your tastes and views do not have to be the same as the guy you’re talking to. You don’t have to listen to the same music, or support the same football team, or agree with his political or religious beliefs.

It is okay to disagree with his opinions as long as you are respectful. Standing up for what you belief in commands respect and it also gives him the chance to get to know the real you and what you are passionate about.

Take risks

No one, no matter how pretty, intelligent or funny, gets the response they want from others ALL of the time. Most of us have some experience of rejection, but that is what helps us hone our tuning skills! Take comfort from this and don’t be disheartened if a boy you like doesn’t reciprocate your interest.

The saying “One person’s trash is another person’s treasure” rings true here. Another saying, “You’ve got to be in it to win it”, is also true. You don’t want to be left wondering what might have happened if you’d had the courage to go and talk to him, so take a chance and put yourself on the line!

Getting what you want

Once you’ve got your boy’s attention there are a few tried and tested tricks for keeping it. The most important thing is to show a genuine interest in him. Smile at him, maintain eye contact, maybe touch his arm to emphasize a point. People love talking about themselves so try asking him questions. Keep it simple, like, what music do you listen to? What’s it like living at your place? How do you get on with your family? What’s the best holiday you’ve ever been on? What do you like to do on weekends?

If you are feeling self-conscious, an added benefit of getting a boy to talk about himself is that it takes the spotlight off you. Once he starts confiding you’ll feel more relaxed and be able to talk about yourself too.

Watch and learn

Observe others and then develop your own style. Pay attention to the girls who are more confident and flirty. Watch these girls in action and take note of exactly what they say, do, and even what mannerisms they use. Not everyone is born with conversational adeptness but anyone can develop it. Mix what works with your own style.

Positive Visualization

Before you approach a boy give yourself a pep talk. The thoughts we have influence our mood and our behavior so concentrate on happy vibes. Dismiss any negative thoughts and substitute them with positive thoughts. If you anticipate that someone is going to laugh in your face or find what you are saying boring, you are likely to feel sad, anxious and defeated. If you remember all the compliments you have been given or a time when you had a friend in stitches laughing, you are likely to feel happy, calm and confident. Visualize success and it is more likely to occur.

Throughout time we have tried to discover why we become so attracted to a certain person. What is the secret? Why this person and not that one?

We meet someone and Boom we are in love. We feel that we can’t live without them. Is there a hidden secret to love relationships? A certain pattern – a cause and effect?

If there is then nobody has ever discovered it. If they had they would be a billionaire and the rest of us would live happily ever after.

No, there is no secret, but you can have a long lasting love relationship. The only thing that is required is some common sense and everyday diligence.

Here are some key ingredients to the making of a long lasting love relationship:

+ Be thoughtful. Your partner has a life too, full of many of the desires and needs that you have. Being constantly aware of this and being helpful and unselfish can go a long way toward cementing a relationship.

+ Treat your partner with respect. The same respect that you would appreciate. If you cause them to feel stupid or make them the brunt of jokes, how do you think that makes them feel.

+ Practice kindness. You treat strangers with kindness. Why not your partner? Saying thank you, can I help you or showing genuine interest in what they have to say will get you the same in return.

+ Always be honest. There is so much truth in the old saying ‘Oh what tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive.’ One of the biggest ruiner of trust in a relationship is lies and deception that leads to lies. No lasting love relationship can be attained where there is not truth.

+ Make them laugh. A happy partner is a contented partner. Always be upbeat, happy and optimistic. Don’t bring your problems into your relationships, when you do it causes your partner to feel a part of them. They have problems of their own and when you are together, both partners should enjoy that time together.

+ Show your love. Why do so many people, especially men find it so hard to say I love you? In order to attain a long lasting love relationship, one must constantly reaffirm that love. A hug, a tender look, being attentive, these all contribute to showing love. But, nothing takes the place of saying I love you. These words should be said several times a day. I don’t mean that you should be silly or doting, but a sincerely said ‘I love you’ will keep your relationship alive and thriving.

Although there isn’t a magical secret, doing these and other attentive things can go a long way toward realizing the long lasting love relationship that you seek.

Life is short and the moments you spend with the one you love are too few, so make the most of each and everyone of these moments so there will be no future regrets.

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