by JoeInSouthernCA

Trust In Relationships

By Michael Fehlauer

The fundamental importance of trust in relationships, and the destruction that happens when that trust is violated became a reality to me several years ago. It’s still a vivid memory; ugly and detailed accusations, followed by denials from me. I lied, got caught and our world crashed.

At this point the details aren’t important. What’s important is I had betrayed the trust of my wife, my family and my friends; as well as the trust of thousands who had put their trust in me. So much was lost. My reputation, my credibility, the vision I believe God had for our lives, and not the least of all, trust. The American Heritage Dictionary defines trust as: Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person.

I had compromised my integrity for selfish pleasure! The question is, what is necessary in restoring trust in relationships, more specifically trust in marriage? want to share just a few behaviors that help to re-establish trust. I am in no way an expert; I’m still working all of this out.

]]>

1. Talk straight. Tell the truth and leave the right impression. This involves not only being truthful about the facts, but making sure we leave a truthful impression. In other words, living in the “no spin zone.”

2. Right wrongs. Not every wrong can always be “righted”, but the ones that can, need to be.

3. Own it. Restoring trust in relationships requires both taking responsibility for our actions as well as the consequences. The temptation is to own up to what we did, but not take responsibility for the consequences of our actions. Even if the consequences are unfair, they’re still a result of our failure.

4. Give it plenty of time. Even though it takes only minutes to violate trust, it takes years to rebuild it. It is unfair to those we have hurt to try to speed up the process.

Some will never trust me again, no matter how I live the rest of my life. That’s my fault. But, to live out the rest of our lives in an honorable way has its own eternal rewards.

http://www.relationship-builder.com/your-emotional-health-and-your-relationships/

http://www.relationship-builder.com/how-to-be-happy-in-marriage/

I asked Elliott about his relationship with Bowie, and what he thought about marriage.
Video Rating: 4 / 5

When your husband doesn’t want to have sex it can be puzzling and disturbing. Insecurity and a rampant imagination can add greatly to the difficulties. Here is an article to consider which shines a light on the issues. After you’ve read it, don’t forget to provide your thoughts so everyone can know your comments:

—————–

Your Husband Doesn’t Want to Have Sex? 5 Amazing Answers and Solutions

By Dr. Randy Carney

So you find your husband doesn’t want to have sex? That indeed is amazing to you because when you were first married, all you had to do was “show up,” and he was ready. The last thing you thought would happen to the two of you would be that you would have marriage intimacy problems.

This state of your marriage is also amazing to you because you read books saying that for many husbands, his number one or number two need is physical intimacy. When your husband doesn’t want sex, many questions can form in your mind.

This may start to cause insecurity on your part. Does he not love you anymore? Does he not find you attractive? While sometimes this may be the case, surprisingly, many times there are other factors..While this may not represent some of the biggest marriage problems, it can certainly be one of the top marriage problems when it reaches extremes.

Some who help others work through marriage problems have discovered a secret.

Here is the secret:

When a husband does not want to have sex, yes, the wife should check up on the two areas in insecurity just mentioned, but actually there are five answers to the question. Each of these five answers do NOt mean that he does not love you anymore. Neither do they mean that he no longer finds you attractive;

Here are the surprising five answers and some solutions:

1. He may be experiencing some physical problems, and he is embarrassed to talk to you about it. some of these types of problems can be very damaging to his ego. Since he wants you to look up to him, he finds it difficult to talk about this kind of failure. Solution: work on keeping lines of communication open. Be understanding. Help him feel comfortable enough to talk to you. These types of problems can be helped by consulting a medical professional.

2. He may have something bothering him outside of the marriage. There may be countless pressures from his job. He may be experiencing stress. He may be worried about financial struggles. It may even surprise him that this type of stress affects the physical area of marriage. Solution: Give support. Find ways to help him relax. Reassure him of your respect.

3. He may need to connect on a deeper emotional level. You both may find this surprising, since many tend to connect the emotional level more to the wife. On the other hand, the husband wants real love and respect. If he feels you are just tolerating him, he can experience a whole range of emotions that even he may not be able to understand. Solution: Go beyond the superficial. When he wants to connect on deeper levels. Be there, ready to talk and to listen.

4. He has a deep need for your admiration and respect. If he does not feel that he has that, he may feel beaten down–less of a man. If unchecked, this can lead to a surprising failure for him in the sexual area. Solution: be truly grateful for his good points. Avoid nagging. Avoid cutting him down. Be especially careful of what your say about him in public. Truly show your respect and admiration wherever you can.

5. He may need to have a key ingredient restored. That ingredient is passion–passion like your earlier days. The problem is that every marriage goes through a type of progression. The passion actually will take different forms. However, do what you can to bring variety into your experience. Encourage him anytime he does something right that excites you. When a little passion surfaces, add fuel to the fire.

These five amazing answers and solutions to the situations where your husband doesn’t want to have sex can be very helpful. However, they do not form the whole answer. Get all the information you can about ways to restore and enrich your marriage.

Actually, besides these five solutions, there are six keys to marital bliss. Marriage Intimacy and Six Keys to Marital Bliss. Find Out What You Need to Know About Marriage Intimacy and How it Contibutes to Marital Bliss. http://www.DrRandyCarney.Webs.Com/GreatphysicalIntimacy.htm Dr. Randy Carney is the author of The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Mariatal Bliss. Copyright by Randy Carney.

Marriage Problems

When there is something wrong with your marriage, you will definitely feel upset and frustrated. The whole family will suffer lots. The whole family is shadowed by the terrible darkness. Under such circumstance, you may wonder divorce may be a good way out and is a good way to solve marriage problems. But unfortunately, divorce can not solve your marriage problem thoroughly. Here are some tips if you want to get over your marriage problem.

Firstly, you should accept the fact that you have some problems with your partner. In this way only you can solve these problems. In fact, having marriage problems does not necessarily mean your failure in running a family.

And then, you should calm down to find out what’s wrong and what leads to these problems. Do not blame yourself or your partner blindly before you make these problems clear. If you want to keep your marriage, you should eliminate these causes of problems. You can talk with your partner honestly and openly.

Do not go for divorce randomly, which does no good to your whole family. If these marriage problems can be easily solved, you can give both of you a chance to restart your marriage. After all, finding a perfect right person for yourself is not easy. In addition, you should take your children into consideration. A broken family is harmful to the children.

You should take divorce seriously. After divorce, you will surely go through a hard time. And you decision will affect all of your family.

Why Worrying Just Doesn’t Help

By Ivan Kelly

If it wasn’t so stressful and energy-draining, worrying about relationship problems might be considered a national past-time since so many people seem to be so willing to spend so much time doing it!

Worrying about relationships and other aspects of your life is NOT the most fruitful approach.

As anxiety increases (our body is trying to protect us in the face of a perceived threat) we often become LESS able to cope.

When faced with MILD anxiety, the fear of not doing well may cause us to be more focused on the steps we know are needed.

For instance, worrying about disapproval or rejection or the likelihood of failure if studies are not attended to; a diet is not followed; training for a sporting event is not completed; a job interview is badly handled, or debts are not paid, may stir us to action.

However, it can happen that we DON’T KNOW what steps to take to improve things and anxiety builds up, causing a sort of paralysis.

Then the outcome is likely to be downhill all the way.

We feel a growing sense of alarm, stress and anxiety, which can also affect our health and make us vulnerable to fatigue and illness.

Even if we know what needs to be done, needless to say we don’t perform very well in this condition. We respond coolly to others, or nag and complain…

Our partners get the sharp end of our tongue; we freeze up in exams and don’t do our best; job interviews are handled badly and more, many more situations in our daily lives bring results well below what we know we can do.

A famous golfer (you’ll understand if I don’t name him) once went into the last stage of a Masters Tournament with a six stroke lead. He lost by 5 strokes!

Many others have had similar experiences – crashing when it counted most!

However, when we expect a GOOD outcome our bodies respond very differently – we are relaxed, enthused, energized, and confident.

And the results we get reflect those good feelings.

When we expect to receive a proposal of marriage, get a promotion at work, inherit a fortune from a distant relative, meet the partner of our dreams, or make a million bucks, etc – that’s exhilarating. We’re enthusiastic about our lives, the sun shines brighter and the world appears to be a much happier place.

Expecting success helps us to be more successful. Not only are we calmer, more at ease, we become more alert to the opportunities that are opening up and more of them appear to be possible.

The problem is how can we expect success when our everyday lives tell us that something awful is far more likely? That our relationships are far less satisfying than we want? That our future looks even worse than the present?

There IS a way we can get past our worries and enjoy life more. We CAN enjoy far better relationships and be happier. And it isn’t difficult.

A number of useful books have been written to show readers HOW they can get past their relationship problems and gain more love and harmony. The best of these will describe simple processes, and examples, that readers can easily follow and quickly apply to make a HUGE difference in their lives. Check this out:

Do you often find that you involve yourself in relationships that disappoint you? Are you not getting what you need and desire from the people you choose to date? Does there always seem to be something missing? If you answered yes to one or all of those questions, you could very well be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships, setting yourself up for failure without even knowing it. There are ways you can determine whether you are addicted or not, and ways you can break the addiction and start getting what you have always wanted from a relationship.

Before we cover the symptoms of addiction, it is important that we cover the dangers of staying in a bad relationship. Since bad relationships lack what one or both partners’ need, stress becomes a regular part of your life, as well a gradual lowering of your self-esteem, which will make you unable to focus on your career and personal life with the concentration and care needed, in order for you to be happy. The constant stress will produce chemical changes in your body that drain your energy and make you more eligible for physical illnesses.

Physical abuse in a relationship is obvious to cause a lot of physical harm, along with great psychological damage, but in spite of these facts, many people still choose to proceed with such relationships, finding themselves trapped and incapable of leaving. They find themselves depressed, on a search for some relief and unfortunately becoming depressed and possibly turning to drugs and alcohol.

So what are the symptoms of this addiction? Ignoring the truth would be one. If you truly know that the relationship you are in is making you unhappy but make no effort to exit from it, then you are in denial and are holding yourself hostage in a situation you do not have to be in. Making excuses for your partner’s disappointing and bad behavior will keep you trapped and is another huge symptom of bad relationship addiction, especially if the excuses you produce do not back up the facts and are unrealistic.

If you do finally build up the courage to confront your partner to leave him or her but are overcome with fear and therefore back off from the confrontation, you are a high and sure victim of addiction because no matter what you attempt, you find yourself always giving in and holding on to what you know is bad for you. Suffering from both physical and mental discomfort once broken up, unless you get back together, is yet another symptom of addiction and should not be denied or ignored.

What causes addiction to bad relationships? There are several levels and everyone’s addiction is different and varies. One common reason is the feeling and belief that if you end the relationship, you will never find anyone else who could possibly be interested in you or love you. You grow so attached to your partner that you forgot your life before him or her, making you feel fearful of being on your own and taking care of yourself.

Fear of criticism is another reason many people remain in bad relationships. They are afraid of what people will say, believing that ending a relationship means that they are a failure and being alone is unacceptable and terrifying. Other reasons may be financial support that you are receiving from a partner, making you feel that you should tolerate bad behavior from your lover, since they are supporting you.

Having a child together can also blind you or cause you to deny a bad relationship, making you feel guilty for leaving your child’s mother or father. On a deeper level, you could be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships due to your upbringing or experiences as a child yourself. Perhaps you were not nurtured or loved enough and you now think it is normal to be neglected from love, care and understanding.

What should you do and how can you break a bad relationship addiction? Since this addiction is difficult and basically impossible for you to end on your own, counseling would be the best assistance for you. Find a counselor or service in which experts provide their services through, and take that first step in accepting the fact that you have an addiction and that you need and want help to conquer it. Start being a best friend to yourself and open the door to all the feelings you have kept locked up for so long.

Stay focused and encourage yourself frequently by setting a goal, and picturing yourself away from all the disappointment and closer to all the happiness and good health you need, desire and deserve as a person. Never give up and know that you are not alone. There are people who can help you, know how to help and will help you. Mainly, keep in mind that there will always be a person who will be by your side and never leave you, always giving you the strength, love and support you need… and that person is YOU.

Paul is the owner of
http://attached-dating.blogspot.com/
Attached and dating is an educational Blog about human sexuality, dating and relationships.

Easily the best way to gain more Love and Harmony in your relationships is to know this life-changing material.

Read the information on this page before it’s too late:

Gain More Love and Harmony – Now!

Human relationships can be pretty complicated and difficult. Afterall, your partner and you are two unique individuals with different needs. When your relationship hits the rocks of your relationship, it does not mean that both of you have to go your separate ways. By learning how to fix relationship problems, you could save you from the pains of separation or divorce.

Here are 4 simple steps you can take to work on fixing your relationships with others:

1. Identify The Root Of The Problem
Recognize that both of you have problems. Nothing can proceed if both of you will just ignore and pretend that things will improve on its own. Avoiding facing the issues between you and your partner can only lead to failure as problems will only get out of control when left unresolved.

More likely, your relationship will only be torn apart. In the end, you will both find yourselves lost in the sea of misunderstandings and conflicts in your relationship. To make things up, it is good that you keep an open communication line with your partner.

One you’ve realized that there is something wrong with your relationship, get into and know the root causes of your conflicts.

* Are both emotional and physical needs being met?
* Are you bored?
* Do you till love each other?
* Do you need time for yourself or some space to rediscover yourself?
* Or are you not spending quality time with each other?
* All these questions can help you track the root cause of your problems.

Knowing the real problem in your relationship can help you fix relationship.

2. Pay Attention To Your Partner
Do this attentively and with no interruption. Pay attention to the emotions that lie behind the uttered words and body language. Listening is the best thing you should learn to fix relationship. Ask your partner what he or she wants and listen to the answer.

3. Spend Time To Work Things Out
The most crucial key to survive relationship problems is that both of you must be willing to keep the relationship alive and remain open to the idea that things could be fixed.

4. Take Action
Nothing can take place if both of you do not take action. Do something that will bring back the warmth in a relationship. Remember that the bond of love grows even stronger after you’ve gone through tough times and make the effort to fix your relationship together as a couple.

Leaning to fix relationship problems can be a tough job if you don’t know how. If you really want to know the secrets to fix relationship, you may want to seek help at our site http://www.squidoo.com/rebuildrelationship. Discover the secrets of making up with your partner. Don’t let simple struggles to break your relationship!

Article Source: ArticleSpan

See Fuller Details Of the Best Relationship Advice Available:

Relationship Problem Advice