by Samuel Mann

How To Have A Succesful Long Distance Relationship?

Long Distance relationships are a true test to a couple\’s commitment and personal limits. LDRs take a great amount of effort to maintain and often people involved in them, realize that they evolve into a state of emotion that they never found themselves in before. When your partner is miles away from you, it is very easy to let things go wrong and lead your long distance romance to an early death. Some people find it difficult to bridge the distance through communication, others become overly obsessed with what their partner is doing when they are not there and as a result they spiral down a road of jealousy and suspicion. They key is balance and following some basic steps to keep your relationship healthy and strong.

Communicate and visit often

It cannot be stressed enough how important communication is for every relationship, especially if it is an LDR. With the distance working to keep you and your sweetie apart, your defense is keeping all lines of communication open. It doesn\’t matter how you do it as long as you do it. Every long distance couple should find ways to communicate that make both partners comfortable and happy. You can talk on the phone everyday, send e-mails, faxes or text messages and whatever you do make sure you share your feelings and expectations and be true to one another. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone calls. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some \”rules\” about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them, consistency can help a LDR survive. (Check our Communicate Better and Travel section)

Avoid jealousy and be trusting

One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worth of trust until proven otherwise. Don\’t fall in the trap to interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven\’t met or he/she didn\’t get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a LDR, you lives won\’t pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.

Be positive

Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive points it that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, communicate better since you don\’t have \”face-to-face\” time and test your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.

Long distance dating is all about a balanced relationship between partners; a relationship built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that this relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about.

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Love symbols serve us on many occasions, including Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, weddings, engagements and birthdays. They normally are visual aid that depict what is otherwise a non-visual emotion and portray feelings of love in a way that make it easier to communicate them to others.
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Love Symbols and their Association with Valentines Day

The day that is observed for the beautiful feelings and emotions associated with love is Valentines day. There are many symbols and signs that are associated with the myriad emotions that can be called love. Thus, these various valentine symbols have automatically come to be associated with Valentine’s day. Some of these are:-

Apple – Since time immemorial, this fruit has been linked to beauty, fertility and consequently with love. It has been widely talked about and mentioned in literature relative to love. Thus, it has found a place in our thoughts as a symbol of love and as a symbol of Valentines day too.

Cupid – This symbol has origins in the Greek mythology. Cupid is understood to be the son of Venus, the love goddess. It is believed that when someone gets hit by a Cupid’s arrow they fall in love with the person they have met right then. Cupid is also shown with a blindfold, which is a conveys the message of love being blind.

Heart and Arrow – Heart has been forever understood to be correlated with love. Phrases like ‘my heart beats for you’ and ‘you have broken my heart’ make it clear that a person in love ‘thinks’ from his heart. Also, the picture of a heart pierced with an arrow is another symbol of feelings that define love. It is consequently understood to be one of the symbols of valentines day.

Rose – Flowers are a representative of many emotions known to man. And, although there are many flowers that are exchanged between people who want to express their love for each other, Rose is the one most famously known as the symbol of love. The colors of Rose define the feelings that are to be conveyed. For example, Red Rose is for love, Pink for attraction and Yellow for friendship.

Love Birds and Doves – Birds like Love Birds and Doves are always found in pairs, that is a reason for their being considered symbols of love. In pairs, these birds represent lovers that are inseparable. In fact Love Birds find their mates in spring time, somewhere around Valentine’s day and leave their mates only when they die. Dove also symbolizes purity and innocence in love.

Chocolates – Chocolates are representative of love, romance and sensuousness. People in love gift each other chocolates and it is especially popular as a Valentines day gifts. Though chocolates need not be representative of romance only, but they definitely are a symbol of love in all its forms.

Love Knots – The love knot is made of two intertwining overhand knots, symbolising intertwined lovers. It is used in Valentine’s day gifts like chains and jewelry. Its beauty lies in its simplicity. Another form of love knots are Celtic love knots, which symbolise everlasting love as they have no beginning and no end.

X – This has long been identified as the symbol of a kiss and has been famously used to show affection for a loved one. People use this sign in love letters and cards to express their love and send across kisses without actually putting the feeling in words.

Laces and Ribbons – These have been used as a symbol of love, trust and confidence in your loved one. People have used laces and ribbons to remember their love who is physically away from them. These are also used as an accompaniment with Valentine day gifts.

In our society we have become obsessed with love. Our films, our books, our plays and our music are full of stories about love – the joy of finding it and the heartache of losing it. We treat it as a commodity, a transient emotion that comes and goes. We are deliriously happy when we find it but suffer terribly when we lose it again.

A vast majority of romantic relationships start well, with two people falling in love, but then something begins to go wrong. The feelings of love begin to fade and we start seeing our partner’s failings.

They begin to irritate us and act in ways that seem unloving. We then either move into compromise and settle for a relationship with less love and connection or we end the relationship and try to find someone better. Forming a successful romantic relationship is a real challenge, but it ends up this way because of a basic misunderstanding about love.

All our romantic problems stem from a destructive self-belief – that we are personally lacking in love. Deep down we feel empty and incomplete. It feels as if there is something missing in our lives. These feelings of scarcity then create a powerful need for love. That is why we go out into the world to find a romantic partner who will take away the emptiness and make us feel whole again.

Of course our search for somebody to love us is often successful and the sensations of falling in love convince us that our strategy was right. Unfortunately, the ease with which we fall in love can become the biggest trap we face in life, because it seems to confirm that love lies outside us.

The sad truth is that most of us fall in love for the wrong reason. We bring a partner into our lives to fulfill our need for love, and it is this outward focus that creates all our problems. It creates a dependence on our partners – we rely on their presence in our lives, to make us happy. This is a recipe for disaster, as I discovered when my marriage failed. When my wife suddenly left me, all my needs and insecurities were laid bare and it was not a pretty sight. How many of us fall in need rather than fall in love?

I am not saying needs are wrong – to be human is to have all sorts of needs, but the need for love is one of the most destructive. As long as we search outwards for love we will fail to see that we have it within. Our strong need for love usually comes from early experiences in our lives where we felt our needs were not met.

Not only do we resent the people who failed to give us what we wanted (normally or parents), we also feel guilt for having failed in the relationship that would have provided those needs. We get really guilty for having given up on our store of self-love and taken on the belief that we are lacking in love. At the spiritual level we feel guilty for having turned away from our divine essence – that of 100% love and connection.

The problem with being needy in a relationship is that it tries to take from our partner. It assumes that they have the thing we need to make us happy. They may feel scarcity themselves so having to continually meet our needs drives up the feeling that they are losing something. We might end up fighting for who is going to meet the needs of the other person – this is the power struggle stage of relationships.

When we feel our needs have not been met we might get angry, disappointed or moody as a way of punishing the other person. If this carries on we might be hit by depression because we just cannot get rid of the emptiness and deadness that we feel inside. Neediness eventually destroys a relationship or takes away all its joy.

So how do we remove the neediness from a relationship? Well the first thing to do is recognize the times when it is present in us and in our partner. Sometimes we may know we are being needy but at others we can be blind to it. If there is any bad feeling in a relationship, you can be sure that unmet needs are the cause. Try to identify what these needs are. What is not being met for you in the relationship – it will be exactly the same for your partner.

Here is the quick fix: Try to give the need that you feel is missing and it will be returned by your partner. Then start to understand your own needs in a situation. When was the first time in your life when they were not met? What was happening? Who was present?

Try to forgive the people involved and realize that you could have given that missing need if you had been more mature and experienced. Visualize the situation now and give the need to all the people present. Breathe love back into the situation. As you heal your need you will find that your self-esteem grows.

You can do this exercise for all your emotional needs. Typically they lie in layers in the mind so we have to repeat the process for all the layers. Soon you will become an expert at spotting needs and healing them. Every single human problem can be traced back to a feeling of unmet needs and at the deepest level it is a belief that there is a lack of love.

Emotional maturity and intelligence is really the ability to become aware of our needs and then not to play them out on the people around us. If we can’t do this our needs drive the things that we want away and paradoxically as we heal the needs within, the very things that we desire begin to appear in our lives!

Peter Granger is an acclaimed relationship counsellor and a Psychology of Vision Trainer (an organisation that specialises in helping people have happier and more fulfilled relationships. You can find lots more advice and tips about love, romance and relationships on www.iloveyouloveme.com

Many people experience forms of jealousy throughout their life. It can begin at a young age with siblings and parents, competition at school and after moving its’ way through friends and other important figures finally finds the place where it often does the most damage: romance. Jealousy is a particularly tricky aspect of relationships because it is often said that a small amount can be healthy, while too much is destructive.

To understand why people feel jealous it is important to know what these feelings often stem from. Insecurity and low self-esteem are often culprits and certainly a bad experience or past trauma can be an excellent source. Though often obvious this emotion is capable of coming out in ways that are subtle and difficult to pinpoint at times which can be extremely frustrating for all involved.

Some of the most common outward displays of jealousy may not immediately make others, or the person experiencing these emotions aware that it is in fact the true problem:

* Anger: A secondary emotion and probably the one most commonly linked with jealousy, anger is a nasty side effect of this emotion and can do great damage to a relationship.

* Irritability: This feeling’s cause can be difficult to identify, but can easily be caused by jealousy.

* Irrational Behavior: Often felt and acted upon in situations where a person is feeling jealous but cannot remove themselves from the source or may be seeking a way to strike at the source. This can also manifest as a coping mechanism when one is near the source causing the feelings of jealousy.

* Sadness: Another secondary emotion that when caused by jealousy is usually felt when one feels at a loss for a solution to the original problem. Often accompanies a feeling of defeat or loss for the object of jealousy.

* Unreasonable: If one is having great deal difficulty in identifying their jealousy or getting it under control they may speak or act in ways that are contrary to their normal behavior.

If the person who is experiencing jealous feelings is capable of escaping those feelings when not in the presence of anything that may remind them some relief may be experienced. Understanding that many things can be linked to those feelings of jealousy is also very important as any reminder can cause a great deal of frustration:

* People: The most obvious place to begin looking is when certain uncomfortable feelings arise when in the presence of a particular person, or anything that reminds you of that person. If the feelings of jealousy are strong enough, even introducing that person’s name into the conversation can cause them to feel uneasy.

* Places: Negative emotions that arise when near, or in a specific place that remind you of something, or someone that you are jealous of can be overwhelming. If the place in question is one where something took place that caused you to feel unhappy these feeling may arise, even when you love places that have been tainted your adoration may not be able to overcome your negative feelings.

* Objects: An object that is symbolic of something that hurt you may cause you to feel jealous and unhappy because it reminds you of something that causes you pain. If the memory attached to the object is particularly strong the association can last for years.

* Music: Because music invokes such powerful emotions from the majority of the population it can be a painful reminder of jealous feelings. Any piece of music that one may associate with someone or something that causes them to feel jealousy may be very difficult to listen to.

* Images: From paintings to films the images that remind one of their jealous feelings can cause many of the secondary emotions to rise up such as anger or sadness.

It is important to identify the original event(s) that may have led to a later feeling of jealousy when reminded of them. Pinpointing the specific reasons for these emotions may help one work through such emotions and eliminate any need to feel jealousy, though this may take some time and possible the aid of a professional therapist if the emotions are too strong. Beginning with some basic questions about how you feel about your jealousy may be an excellent place to start; some of the following questions may help you to explore the causes of your feelings:

* When did you first feel jealous and of who/what?

* What did this feeling make you think of? Anything in your past?

* Are there other people/objects/places that seem to cause the same kinds of feelings?

* Why do you think that you are experiencing these feelings?

* Who or what do you feel angry with?

* When you feel this jealousy, how do you want to act on it?

* Do you feel that your reactions are unreasonable when you’re calm again?

* Do you feel out of control when you become jealous?

* Have you stopped normal behavior, going places you would normally or doing things that you love to do in order to avoid these feelings?

Conquering jealousy can be very difficult depending upon the source and intensity of the feeling. Be assured that though a little jealousy can be endearing, too much is often a great way to destroy a relationship. In many cases the real problem with jealousy in relationships has a lot to do with trust; if a person is unable to trust their partner they may find that they are frequently suspicious of their partner’s actions.

Only you and the person you love can draw conclusions about what level of jealousy is acceptable and what may be hurting your relationship, or either of you personally. Remember that treating your partner as though they aren’t deserving of your trust, when they have taken no action to cause it, will often lead to a breakup.

One excellent rule to follow if one is feeling particularly jealous in a romantic relationship is to keep in mind that without trust between you and your partner your relationship has a good chance of ending, so either find a way to trust or figure out why it is that you are unable to.

In the end the green eyed monster often gets the best of most people from time to time; try to minimize the frustration caused by jealousy and you will be likely to enjoy a far greater relationship with any friend, relative or lover in your life.

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Article Source: ArticleSpan

Easily the best way to gain more Love and Harmony in your relationships is to know this life-changing material.

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Maybe you are too jealous but, as you might have realized, it does not come by choice. It is a strong emotion which works you up to regrettable levels.

Maybe you are the kind of a person who does very stupid things in the heat of the moment and you are left embarrassed. You might spot your lover with a prospective boss, start hurling abuse and maybe even get physical.

This is a dangerous level which might drive your lover away from you unless it is kept in check. To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships, you must first of all discover the root of the disturbing emotion. Did she cheat on you once? Does the other person shower him with overflowing favors? It will help if you understand the root of your insecurity.

To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships, learn how to handle competition. Attractive people are approached for dating all the time. Accept what you cannot change and walk around it. To remain top of the list you must be able to beat others who might be in competition for her/his love. Jealousy will only eat you up and leave you feeling bad, sad and unloved. Do not walk in the shadow of ignorance.

If you do not reveal your jealousy, you will learn so much about your lover. He/she will voluntarily tell you about who is chasing after him or her but just with a light touch. Your reaction might determine what should be communicated to you in the future. If you are abreast of his/her admirers you are way ahead because you have a chance to beat them before they start their game. To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships encourage openness in a relationship.

To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships, talk about it. When your lover knows that it  makes you uneasy when you are in the company of some people, he/she is a position to do a lot to spare you the agony. She might start flirting with you when company is around and maybe a public show of affection will reduce your insecurity and thus help you overcome jealousy.

She is best placed to assure you of her love and to take it a step further by announcing it to the whole world. Do not die with your feelings. Confess what your love for her is driving at. Chances are it will do you more good than harm. Off course when you declare your feelings it will be a sure sign of love and affection towards her.

I encourage communication because some things we do as human beings are intentional. Your lover might be subjecting you to so much heartache in a mission to prove something. These are games lovers play. Some believe that a jealous lover is a true lover. Due to the rising levels of betrayal and malice in the dating scene, people are keen to look for real love. She might be praising  another just to watch your reaction. If you respond positively, the subjection stops and life continues.

If you consider disclosing jealousy a weakness and persevere with it you may be subjected to more. Do not overcome jealousy in romantic relationships on your own. Involve your lover and you might even discover it was not your weakness after all.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Overcome Jealousy In Romantic Relationships Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Overcome Jealousy In Romantic Relationships

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Do you panic if you think about how to talk dirty to your boyfriend? This is one sure way to turn on your man. However, you may find it vulgar and discussing when you think about using it to excite your man. Once you learn to use it as a tool it will turn your lovemaking from warm to boiling! Most men want you stimulate them this way.

Six Powerful tips on how to talk dirty to your boyfriend.

1) Remain calm and relaxed...don’t get all tensed up, just calmly whisper into his ear. It doesn’t have to be anything obscene.

2) Not sure what to say? Do a search on online and you will find lots of ways to express yourself. There are numerous lines and words you can say, read some romance novels! Try this line out [I love the way your kissing me...especially the way your kissing me there]

3) Set the tone to get in the mood…start by using words that don’t embarrass you. Test these words and see what kind of response you get.

4) If you’re shy…practice by yourself repeating the words or lines out loud, try putting emotion into the words, make them sound inviting and tantalizing!

5) Begin by using short lines and try to combine it with how you feel about them, you could say something like [Wow you look very sexy tonight] or [ I really like what you're doing to me] These are both sexy and don’t use any dirty words.

6) Slowly begin to be more explicit…this will become easier as your learn and you see how your partner responds. Use phrases like [I want to...] or [I love it when you touch me...]

Learning how to talk dirty to your boyfriend doesn’t have to be boring our discussing, as you learn more you will find that the hotter the talk the hotter the sex!

As you can see talking dirty doesn’t have to be scary or obscene, it’s a nice way to excite your boyfriend and keep your lovemaking hot and exciting. Drive your man crazy with desire and passion using these Examples of Talking Dirty Also, discover the Seven reasons why sexual activity is so important.

Easily the best way to gain more Love and Harmony in your relationships is to know this life-changing material.

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Let’s be clear – relationships can be complicated. To have a long-term strong and stable relationship, both parties involved need to recognise that they need to work at it. This means that each person must come to terms with the fact that there’s no such thing as a ‘perfect relationship’; there is always the possibility of relationships problems, and that it takes consistent effort by both partners to ensure that a relationship goes the distance.

Anyone who has been in a relationship has likely had relationships problems. These problems can arise because of a number of things. One thing that can cause strife is when either one or both parties do not take the time to listen to and understand the other’s perspective.

It’s easy to just say ‘you need to see it from the other person’s perspective’ but that’s often easily said and not so easily done. When you have a strong perspective on things, it is often difficult to let go of that to look at the situation from how your partner is seeing it. But you must really try! There are many different reasons why both parties often find it difficult to understand the other party’s perspective.

1. Sometimes it is because there is something from another part of a person’s life that is causing stress and unhappiness. This often causes a general negative outlook, and the unwillingness to be flexible, loving and forgiving. It is best not to discuss heavy issues during these times.

2. Lack of communication can also cause one person not to understand the other’s perspective. Communication is key in a relationship. It’s clear; the more you communicate your thoughts and feelings to one another, the more understanding you will have.

3. Unresolved anger with issues in the relationship can also cause relationships problems. When one or both of you is upset with the other person, it can result in a negative attitude and response to each other.

4. Another emotion, such as jealousy, can cause the person experiencing the emotion to be less trustful or open with their partner. To be able to see something from someone else’s point of view, one has to be willing to do so. When strong emotions surface they tend to cloud an individual’s judgment.

In order to avoid relationships problems, it is important to communicate with your partner, and to listen openly and non judgmentally to everything he or she has to tell you. If you have an issue with the information he or she has given you, try to discuss your concerns in a diplomatic manner and a calm, even tone. Remember why you are in the relationship, and make efforts to work toward happiness for both of you.

Steve & Louise have experienced the relationship problems many face at some point, and in an effort to find answers to their problems, they spent months researching the vast array of relationship help and advice products, identifying the good and the not-so-good. Read their independent and unbiased reports: http://www.Relationship-Reports.com – Facts, Product Info & Customer Feedback

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Love and Harmony